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[Mitsu]

Mitsu

I wrote something.

I don't write much, I'd rather draw plus I'm not a very good writer.  I am pretty proud of this though because my Acc. English teacher said it was good.

For once
(But only)
The music
(Being of no form)
Did not bother him
It sounded like a bursting bubble
(A plop or not)
Or maybe a burbling memory
It seemed to him
(Now he was)
More complete
As a quiet
(Louder than ever before)
Night’s symphony
(There was none
Only violins)
Without an intermission
Brightly blazing
Day arrives
(Too slow
With many pauses)
Drifting from pink
(More bubbles)
To slate
His cloud was below the ground
(Possibility
Not likely)
Where the sound’s ominous echo
(Above and all around)
Was soothing to his ears
(Sore without reason)
And in this
His earlier thoughts
(Detrimental in nature)
Vanished
(A vapor
Not here
But elsewhere)
Scribbling with rocks
(His hobby)
While in denial
(His finest moment)
Was his previous act before he changed
(It was a loud quiet
But ultimately deafening)
His cloud rose up
(Which way)
To meet the inferno
The spider
(That inferno)
Was doused
(But still on a plane)
Then it waddled away
(The Great Unknown
It’s not as bad as that)
While the screams died down
(What was to make them)
And the blot disappeared
The silk
(Not quite sticky
But sturdy enough)
Tattered
He escaped
Delirious
Depressed
His downfall deep-seated
(Born of success)
To be dropped deviously
(In a little while)
Forever drowned
(Almost)

I'd appreciate feedback on how to make it better.  This is the second version of it already and when I posted it I took out this line- (Consistency of Thoreau) which was between "And in this" and "His earlier thoughts"