I have this friend who was going to eat a hotdog at school, and I was like "Wait, you better use a condiment unless you want to become pregnant." She just shrugged at me and continued eating. A month later, she stopped having her period, and 8 month later she had a baby pig. I knew that unhealthy practice would ketchup to her. Have a safe lunch, use condiments.
EDIT: Oh !@#$%, this isn't spam. Well, that chick is obviously off the hook and is probably insane. Boners and balls may rape her bones but words can never hurt her.