ZFGC

General => Boards => Archive => Other Discussion => Topic started by: Porkchop on July 31, 2008, 01:56:10 am

Title: Swiftu almost died today, ZFGC, He almost died.
Post by: Porkchop on July 31, 2008, 01:56:10 am: This is what he told me just before signing off MSN...

Quote
I was walking to my house from a pool party, right? Anyway I crossed at a crosswalk when this car speeds by and I swore and sort of fell over when I attempted to do a flip, but I still missed the car. I thought I was safe so I continued on my merry way until about half a block later the car comes barreling down the street right at me. **** I said to no one in particular. I sort of charged this tree infront of me and jumped. The branch I wanted to swing off hit me in the neck but the force of me running and then stopping caused me to shoot in the air and avoid the car.

This man stepped out of the car with a grizzly face, and one eye missin. "You're commin' with me darlin'" he said in the most disgusting southern accent. (No offense my brothers in the south). I looked at the ground and said "N..no. **** you" He pulled out a katana from his back seat, and I was under the assumption I was boned.

Thinking quick, I utilized the closest weapon I had near me, a discarded fishing pole in this houses trash.

The brute ran at me full force, eyeing my groin with his one yellowish eye. "Tasssssty" he hissed as he tried to stab me in the gut. As he rushed the sword forward, I screamed and went into the fetal position, which caught him off guard and he fell over. "Ha!" I said, urinating myself. I swung down the fishing pole full force on his neck and it snapped in half. (The pole, not him)

"Balls" I said as I began to sprint hard as I could to my house so I could alert someone. He got up shortly after I did and he ran surprisingly fast for an old fat man. "I wan my boy!" he growled at me. I was shocked by his words and fell over right on my wrist, which broke at a 75 degree angle. Blood shot out of my arm with every beat of my heart. Blood was all over the place. I was crippled with pain and I thought this is it, till I remembered something.

At the pool party there was this incredibly attractive scene girl who gave me her number and told me to call her the next day so we could arrange a play date, so to speak. As the adrenaline (and erection) rushed all around me, I was bestowed with a newfound vigor and strength, sheer energy surging through my limbs as I turned around and punched the man square in the throat. He fell over and then I elbowed him (with my good arm of course) right in the gut, which made him vomit and poop.
Title: Re: Swiftu almost died today, ZFGC, He almost died.
Post by: Mamoruanime on July 31, 2008, 01:58:40 am: Quote from: Pyro on July 31, 2008, 01:56:10 am
This is what he told me just before signing off MSN...

Quote
I was walking to my house from a pool party, right? Anyway I crossed at a crosswalk when this car speeds by and I swore and sort of fell over when I attempted to do a flip, but I still missed the car. I thought I was safe so I continued on my merry way until about half a block later the car comes barreling down the street right at me. **** I said to no one in particular. I sort of charged this tree infront of me and jumped. The branch I wanted to swing off hit me in the neck but the force of me running and then stopping caused me to shoot in the air and avoid the car.

This man stepped out of the car with a grizzly face, and one eye missin. "You're commin' with me darlin'" he said in the most disgusting southern accent. (No offense my brothers in the south). I looked at the ground and said "N..no. **** you" He pulled out a katana from his back seat, and I was under the assumption I was boned.

Thinking quick, I utilized the closest weapon I had near me, a discarded fishing pole in this houses trash.

The brute ran at me full force, eyeing my groin with his one yellowish eye. "Tasssssty" he hissed as he tried to stab me in the gut. As he rushed the sword forward, I screamed and went into the fetal position, which caught him off guard and he fell over. "Ha!" I said, urinating myself. I swung down the fishing pole full force on his neck and it snapped in half. (The pole, not him)

"Balls" I said as I began to sprint hard as I could to my house so I could alert someone. He got up shortly after I did and he ran surprisingly fast for an old fat man. "I wan my boy!" he growled at me. I was shocked by his words and fell over right on my wrist, which broke at a 75 degree angle. Blood shot out of my arm with every beat of my heart. Blood was all over the place. I was crippled with pain and I thought this is it, till I remembered something.

At the pool party there was this incredibly attractive scene girl who gave me her number and told me to call her the next day so we could arrange a play date, so to speak. As the adrenaline (and erection) rushed all around me, I was bestowed with a newfound vigor and strength, sheer energy surging through my limbs as I turned around and punched the man square in the throat. He fell over and then I elbowed him (with my good arm of course) right in the gut, which made him vomit and poop.

Les Sigh~ If only he would tell stories like that to the ladies, he might get laid :(
Title: Re: Swiftu almost died today, ZFGC, He almost died.
Post by: Pyrazor on July 31, 2008, 01:59:25 am: This story has a distinct lack of Reptar.
Title: Re: Swiftu almost died today, ZFGC, He almost died.
Post by: Mirby on July 31, 2008, 02:00:45 am: Sounds like a dramatization of real events. Even so, he almost died so that sucks. ZFGC wouldn't be the same without his cynicism being gone forever.

Reptar? WTF? Haven't heard that in ages. Isn't that from Rugrats?
Title: Re: Swiftu almost died today, ZFGC, He almost died.
Post by: Domo on July 31, 2008, 02:24:26 am: *sigh* Funny, but no.

Locked, etc.