on-topic:
Snape boned Dumbledore.
"What're yeh on abou', Harry?"
"Dumbledore," said Harry. "Snape sexed Dumbledore."
Hagrid Simply looked at him, the little of his face that could be seen completely blank, uncomprehending.
"Dumbledore wha', Harry?"
"He's gay. Snape sexed him...and he liked it"
"Don't Say that," said Hagrid roughly. "Snape sex Dumbledore - don' be stupid, Harry. Wha's made yeh say tha'?"
"I saw it happe."
"Ye couldn' have."
"I saw it, Hagrid".
Hagrid shook his head; his expression was disbelieving but sympathetic and Harry knew that Hagrid thought he had sustained a blow to the head, that he was confused, perhaps by the after-effects of a jinx...
"What musta happened was, Dumbledore musta told Snape ter put him under the impervious curse and rape him ter go with them Death Eaters," Hagrid said confidently. "I suppose he's gotta keep his cover. Look let's get ye back up ter the school. Come on Harry,"
Harry did not attempt to argue or explain. He was still shaking uncontrollably. Hagrid would find out soon enough, too soon...