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ZFGC CP => Friendly & Neutral => NPC Design => King of Thieves => Cut Submissions => Topic started by: BlazeBigBang on June 07, 2012, 12:48:05 pm

Title: [Rejected] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 07, 2012, 12:48:05 pm
Name: Alex
Age: 10
Race: Hylian

Description:

Alex is a member of the gang of thieves. His parents were killed in an incident when the King of Hyrule was going to be attacked. He's father was a retired knight and went to talk to the king. The bandits went to the Castle, and Alex's father trying to protect himself and his wife, attacked the two bandits. He killed one, the other killed him. Zelda informed Alex about this. Alex ran less than 2 miles. Anton was passing by, and took him with the gang. He's a shy boy, and doesn't like people at all. He has not much friends in the gang, so when Link talks to him at the beginning, he will just say to go away. He does everything on his own, although some of this a re very difficult for being done that way. At a certain point, a side-quest related to helping him to do something, will get Link something like some rupees, and Alex will talk a bit more with everyone. At the end, he is seen visiting their parents grave, with Antono walking towards to him.
Title: Re: [SUBMISSION] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 07, 2012, 01:46:10 pm
Could you possibly develop this a bit more?  I feel like someone living with the gang for his entire life wouldn't be the not-much-is-known-about-him type.  After all, Farin pretty much raised him in the company of the other children.
Title: Re: [SUBMISSION] Alex
Post by: Zaeranos on June 07, 2012, 04:26:10 pm
Him raising him from a baby, seems a bit weird for someone in Farin's place. It would be more likely he would bring the baby to an orphanage or to a family that would care about him. He does not seem to be the type to change daipers and wake up at nights to go to crib to take care of a screaming baby. To me for Farin to take in a child he needs to be at least potty trained and be able to walk and run without support.


This does bring up an interesting question though. How many years have passed since Ganondorf took over Farin's place?
Title: Re: [SUBMISSION] Alex
Post by: Max. on June 07, 2012, 09:42:40 pm
Yeah, when I saw this is morning I thought about that too, Niek. I've kinda been thinking Farin's been in town for like a year or two at the most. This ain't stated anywhere, that's just been my preconception. I think we need a Farin entry or two or three to resolve this!

Blaze, there is a difference between the player maybe not knowing much about a character (that's okay) and the designers not knowing much about a character. For somebody as central as one of the gang, we need to know a lot more about them.
Title: Re: [SUBMISSION] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 07, 2012, 10:47:38 pm
About what you're saying about Farin raising him, I thought that Farin felt sorry for the kid, and did his best to raise the kid. Surprising Farin, Alex learned talking very early, and could pick-pocket people at the age of 5. He was a very smart kid, and he's also a very good friend with Anton, as they are always together.

About the past of the kid, well, as he was an orphan very early, there's not much to say.
Title: Re: [SUBMISSION] Alex
Post by: Zaeranos on June 08, 2012, 03:58:30 am
Another genius thief? WIth all those genius thieves in the gang and the world Link must be really crappy. I don't see this working with the rest.
Title: Re: [SUBMISSION] Alex
Post by: Max. on June 08, 2012, 05:32:54 am
Well, we don't have any genius thieves, actually. The only people in the gang we know about for sure are Link and Juan the Poe, and that there will be Sykes in some capacity, as we haven't accepted any other gang members yet :p

So if this guy, Alex, is a genius thief, after we have several thief submissions, we'll choose a gang that is well balanced, and chances are, combine the best aspects of a few. So maybe the Sykes we end up choosing isn't actually a very good thief, and we need a really good one, we'll choose Alex.

Blaze, I will say though that this submissions lacks, well, anything personality wise! You'll need to beef it up considerably before we can use him.

Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 08, 2012, 10:23:44 am
Well, now for HUGE changes, he's a 9 year old Hylian. He's a very good friend with Anton, and lost his parents when he was 6, in the Rich Hyrule. Their parents went to the King's Castle, asking to talk with him. The Royal Guards misunderstood them, and killed them After that, the Princess saw the bodies. Asked the guards for a burial, and to report her if had any childs. Zelda found Alex on the side of poor Hyrule, sleeping. She told them that their parents were killed: "Alex, listen to me, I'm the Princess Zelda, your parents were killed. Come with me." Alex couldn't believe it. He ran for a lot of time, until he fainted. Anton was passing by, and saw Alex. He called Farin, and told him to take him with them. Alex is still in training, and is worse than Link at pick-pocketing.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 08, 2012, 03:27:23 pm
MUCH better!  Now we know who this kid is :) Now, my only question is what did his parents want to talk to the king about and why did the guards misunderstand them?

EDIT: This also brings to question Zelda's age.  How old was she at the time of the parents being killed?  We know she's fairly young at the start of the game.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 08, 2012, 10:43:26 pm
Oops! With young, do you mean 16, 17 years? or 10, 11 like Link? Because it depends on that. If Zelda is older than Link, she will have find it when she was 10. If she is now 11, well, maybe he was found by Farin, and Farin told him to go with him. He escaped and was found with Anton and then he was with teh gang of thieves.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Max. on June 09, 2012, 03:41:25 am
Yeah, there's no Zelda Submission, so who can say? :p

I think it's kind of important that we know what this kid's personality is, too. Right now, we know his history, but nothing about how he acts or feels. Does he hate the palace and royalty, do they terrify him, has he accepted that it was a mistake? WAS it a mistake?! Maybe his parents were traitors! Does Alex wish he were still rich? Does he despise the rich, or blame riches for his parents death? Et cetera.

But also, regarding his past, yeah, there are a lot of unanswered questions, like why the guards were so violent. I mean, they do attack Link in our game, but thats largely a mechanic, they are also just regular people of the town who have joined the guard. We're working the inequality and economic discrimination angle, not the bloodthirsty totalitarian one, remember :p
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 09, 2012, 11:59:20 am
Alex parents went to talk with the King. They weren't rich per se, they were in the middle table of richness and poorness. They didn't have enough money to buy the same clothes that everybody else had in the rich Hyrule. They went to talk with the King without invitation. When the guards saw them they thought: "Hmm, two poor persons. Better take them out of here". Alex father was a retired knight, so he always carried a sword with him. The guards told them to leave. Alex parents said that needed to talk with the King, they had a revolutionary idea. The guards saw the sword when Alex father was moving his hands, and thought that they will attack the King, so they killed them. After that, Alex is in the gang of thieves, blah blah blah...

Alex is a shy boy, because of what happened with his parents. Also he lost a friend when he was in Hyrule. This kid is just a good friend with Anton, but doesn't talk to much with anyone because he thinks that if he feels good with them he will have friends, and he's scaried from having friends, bcause if something happens to them, Alex gets hurt.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Zaeranos on June 09, 2012, 01:00:22 pm
Wow, I don't know in what country you live in, but that kind of killing seems to much. Especially when the father is a former knight, the guards would probably recognize them. Not to mentions that the father would know what to do and what not. This makes their deaths really weird. Also was the father that old that he was already retired? Things do not add up.

If you want my advice. I would suggest that the father was a guard at the royal court and that his wife came for a visit. They became cassualties during an assasination attempt on the king. And Alex just doesn't know anything.




To my idea Zelda is the same age as Link.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 09, 2012, 01:13:45 pm
But the point of this is about all a confusion of murders. The guards were told to not let anyone pass because there was an attempt against the king. He was a very old man, and these guards were "new" in the job. When they saw the sword, they thought that they were the ones who wanted to attack the King. About your Zelda entry, if its accepted it will be that Anton found him crying because their parents didn't raturn, and told him to go with him, he ran, fainted, and awoke with Farin and Anton.

Also, there's nothing about murder in my country you! :-X It was all a confusion, and then the guards were fired.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Max. on June 10, 2012, 04:52:47 am
Niek, these kinds of things happen in just about every country.

California (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-20124838/police-seeking-robber-kill-unarmed-innocent-man/)

London (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4712061.stm)

(This is not actually a good use of my time to look these up, I need to be packing :p)
But it's a tragedy that happens everywhere, people make mistakes or assumptions and hurt innocent people. Except in more socially afpdvanced countries, it's a big deal and people get in more trouble and you hear about it on the news.
I do think that Hyrule town is civilized enough that something like this happening would kind of be a really big deal, though. People probably would have taken this kid in if it went down like you have it currently.

If, however, instead of just being killed at the entrance to the castle, maybe Alex's dad was dressed the same as a man the guards were chasing through town or something, it seems like it could be slightly less abrasive (because it's an uncomfortable topic for everyone).

I am curious, why, no matter what else you change, do you have Alex running until he faints and then being found and taken into the gang? Is that a thing that happens?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Zaeranos on June 10, 2012, 09:10:44 am
Max, that is the case with guns. Triggers are very easy to pull and pointing a gun as a deterent and defensive capabilities is way to common. A gun is too easy to use and too easy to kill someone. A 2-year old could kill someone.


But this is Hyrule. A medival society, where guards weild spears and swords. Do you know how difficult it is to accidentally kill someone, with displaying the intent to kill them. It is not like a kid is playing with a sword, they walk around the corner and get accidentally their throats sliced open. No these guards stop them, point their weapons at them. If any flick of the wrist set these guards of on a killing spree to kill 2 people (one unarmed) there is something seriously wrong with these guards. It means that there have to be at least two crazy guards.

And the guy is a former guard, he knows what the protocols are and he could always ask the new guards what is going on and why everyone is on edge. There are too many holes to be accidentally killed by swords and spears.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 10, 2012, 12:55:47 pm
Farin is a nice person as what it looks in the DesignDoc. And I thought that if Farin sees someone in danger, he will protect him. Actually, I think that Anton has been looking up for him, trying to steal them. Then, when their parents died, all the fortune they had was lost to an uncle from Alex, who didn't want Alex close. Alex had to escape to someplace. He thought of going to see the King, for what to do, but he was very scaried, unable to speak to him. He ran until he fainted, Alex found him, and thought that his running abilities were very good (he ran 3 kilometers in half an hour. Sorry for using kilometers, I don't know how it is in feets), and would be useful for stealing.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 18, 2012, 02:03:10 pm
Quote
He ran until he fainted, Alex found him, and thought that his running abilities were very good (he ran 3 kilometers in half an hour. Sorry for using kilometers, I don't know how it is in feets), and would be useful for stealing.

Wait, Alex found Alex?  Also, 3km is just under 2 miles for the non-metric people ;)
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 18, 2012, 09:59:48 pm
Quote
He ran until he fainted, Alex found him, and thought that his running abilities were very good (he ran 3 kilometers in half an hour. Sorry for using kilometers, I don't know how it is in feets), and would be useful for stealing.

Wait, Alex found Alex?  Also, 3km is just under 2 miles for the non-metric people ;)

Sorry, I meant to say Anton. Well, Anton told Farin about his running abilities. At the beginning Farin thought of leaving him in an orphanage, but when Anton told him about his running, he wanted to keep him in his team.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 18, 2012, 10:38:20 pm
Can you revise the original post with some of the discussion content?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 18, 2012, 10:43:49 pm
Do you want me to edit the original post?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 18, 2012, 10:45:57 pm
Yes I doo
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 18, 2012, 10:57:15 pm
Tomorrow I will be updating it I don't have plenty of time now.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 25, 2012, 06:15:16 pm
Blaze, anything on this?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 25, 2012, 10:11:36 pm
I think I already updated it.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on June 25, 2012, 11:22:21 pm
Oh, you did, my bad.  Hmm...could you talk about his personality, his relation among the other gang mates and what he provides to the gang and possibly the player (if anything)?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 26, 2012, 12:05:44 am
Sure. Tomorrow I will be updating it.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on June 26, 2012, 12:36:08 pm
Ok updated the info.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on July 17, 2012, 07:55:48 pm
So, this is still in revision? Or is already rejected?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on July 17, 2012, 08:07:14 pm
Seems like a good character now with lots of room for development as the game progresses.  I'm ok with this.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: BlazeBigBang on July 17, 2012, 08:14:53 pm
Then I should wait to someone else aprove it, right?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: MG-Zero on July 17, 2012, 08:15:47 pm
Yes
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Zaeranos on July 17, 2012, 09:04:45 pm
Well, I am okay with the dying of the parents now. It doesn't seem like a brutal covered up murder of one of their own. This submission seems solid.

However, it is for a gang member and we have a number more gang member submissions. The already decided gangmembers are (4 in total):
- Link
- Sykes
- Anton
- Juan the thieving Poe

Other submissions are:
- Alex
- Finney
- Malon
- Aveil

I think there is room for 1 or 2 more gangmembers and I think it is best if we'd consider all the remaining submissions before deciding, which one to pick.
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Max. on November 01, 2012, 04:53:57 pm
I think in light of other submissions for the gang, we don't want it to get too big, and this guy doesn't make the cut :/  I'd prefer to accept Finney, maybe Aviel, and Sam and Charlie.

But Niek and Ash, your opinions before I just reject it?
Title: Re: [Revise] Alex
Post by: Starforsaken101 on November 01, 2012, 05:24:17 pm
Go for it. We do have a lot of gang members with stronger descriptions.
Title: Re: [Rejected] Alex
Post by: Zaeranos on November 01, 2012, 06:46:43 pm
I agree as not to make him part of the gang, but he is still an interesting character. Maybe Blaze can rewrite him a bit.

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