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Author Topic: Horn of Balance  (Read 463649 times)

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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #600 on: April 24, 2012, 02:32:46 am »
  • It's just Max.
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I like the intro as a story setter, it works well, but... The intro is so slow! Super dooper slow, I got really bored. If I were playing, I wouldn't want to sit through all that, no offense. I think a major part of it was the extended text writing and erasing, will it be possible to skip through it to read at your own speed, like ALTTP? Because I read WAY faster than that.

Another thing is that you should have complete thoughts on each message, rather than awkward fragments. It's kinda weird to read story opens with Link...
As he was living with his uncle in...
The vast western forest of Hyrule. His uncle....

Et cetera, it's rath disjointed and awkward to read. Maybe have it scroll up like starwars? But faster, starwars is so slow too.

Also, if you'd like, I can make some revisions so your English is more correct.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #601 on: April 24, 2012, 06:13:44 am »
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I will take your comments into consideration. I should be able to adjust some things, though my goal was to have the intro somewhat match the background sound. Instead of adjusting the overall length of the intro (a lot) I could try to add more images or more engaging storytelling?

Suggestions for improvement in the text are always welcome.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #602 on: April 24, 2012, 05:45:19 pm »
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Haha, I watched the intro without sounds, oops. I didn't realize that there was anything other than just like, the Zelda theme behind it :p

As for your text, here are some suggestions to improve the grammar and in a couple cases, clarity:


switch (argument[0])
{
    case "Title1":
        message[0] = "The story starts off with Link,
        message[1] =  living with his uncle in the vast
        message[2] = "western forest of Hyrule. His uncle,";
        message[3] = "a blacksmith, was teaching him how";
        message[4] = "to forge metals and together they";
        message[5] = "spent weeks crafting a new sword-
        message[6] = "a beautiful ceremonial blade.
        message[7] = "Elegant and perfectly balanced, it";
        message[8] = "was truly their finest work to date.";
        exit;

    case "Title2":
        message[0] = "It had been announced that princess";
        message[1] = "Zelda would soon be of age and wed, so
        message[2] = "a festival was at hand in her honor.";
        message[3] = "Link and his uncle packed all their belongings";
        message[4] = "and set out for the city with the intent
        message[5] = "of presenting their blade as a gift.";
        exit;

    case "Title3":
        message[0] = "Upon arriving at the borders of the";
        message[1] = "city of Hyrule, Link and his uncle
        message[2] = "encountered soldiers everywhere.";
        message[3] = "By sudden decree of the king anyone";
        message[4] = "coming to the festivities looking";
        message[5] = "suspicious was arrested instantly.
        message[6] = "Carrying his blade, Link's uncle was
        message[7] = "apprehended and Link was forced to go
        message[8] = "in pursuit via a different route.";
        exit;

    case "Title4":     
        message[0] = "When Link finally made his way into";
        message[1] = "Hyrule City, he searched for the prison
        message[2] = "where his uncle had been taken.
        message[3] = "Link entered one of the many shops
        message[4] = "to ask directions, but
        message[5] = "accidentally knocked over a vase.
        message[6] = "The shopowner angrily chased
        message[7] = "Link into the street, demanding
        message[8] = "an absurd compensation.
        exit;

    case "Title5":
        message[0] = "Numberous soldiers came and surrounded
        message[1] = "Link, but luckily they were part of";
        message[2] = "Zelda's escort. As she walked near,
        message[3] = "She called off her guards and took
        message[4] = "a good look at the young boy before";
        message[5] = 'drawing closer to whisper: "Help me."';
        exit;

    case "Title6":
        message[0] = "Things go downhill from here on out";
        message[1] = "and the demo starts as Link has to go";
        message[2] = "and make things right again. Enjoy!";
        exit;

I deleted the "; at the end of the lines I edited. I'm also presuming that you'll change title6 before the game is finished, because it doesn't match the level of how professional the rest of your game is.

Also, to expedite this story, you might get rid of the shop keeper, unless he's really important. Link could just happen to walk by Zelda, or walk where he didn't know he wasn't supposed to go.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #603 on: April 24, 2012, 07:52:37 pm »
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I took the liberty to change max's changes. I only put in the major things though.

case "Title1":
        message[0] = "This tale starts off with Link,         
Story sounds so fact, as if it is written down. Tale has a more folklore or legend aspect. Something passed by word of mouth.
        message[1] =  living with his uncle in the vast
        message[2] = "western forest of Hyrule. His uncle,";
        message[3] = "a blacksmith, was teaching him how";
        message[4] = "to forge metals. They";
Too long a sentence to carry the intonation right. Especially with reading pauses in between. Together is made redundant by the word they, because no other characters are introduced yet.
        message[5] = "spent weeks crafting a new sword-
It doesn't go well with the telling.
        message[6] = "a beautiful ceremonial blade.
        message[7] = "Elegant and perfectly balanced, it";
        message[8] = "was truly their finest work to date."; 
        exit;

    case "Title2":
        message[0] = "It had been announced that princess";
        message[1] = "Zelda would soon be of age. and wed, so
        message[2] = "A festival was to be held in her honor.";
The wedding stuff seems to be pointles as it does not tell the how, where, when and most important with whom. It is pointless and useless information. For a princess coming of age is enough of a reason to hold festivities.
        message[3] = "Link and his uncle packed all their belongings";
        message[4] = "and set out for the city with the intent
        message[5] = "of presenting their blade as a gift.";
        exit;

    case "Title3":
        message[0] = "Upon arriving at the borders of the";
        message[1] = "city of Hyrule, Link and his uncle
        message[2] = "encountered soldiers everywhere.";
        message[3] = "By sudden decree of the king anyone";
What is so sudden about it, when you haven't explained the situation before the decree. It seems a pointless fact to pad out the sentence.
        message[4] = "coming to the festivities looking";
        message[5] = "suspicious was to be arrested instantly.
        message[6] = "Carrying his blade, Link's uncle was
        message[7] = "apprehended and Link was forced to go
        message[8] = "in pursuit via a different route.";
, being left behind, followed the soldiers and his uncle into the city.
There is no explanation as to why Link couldn't take the same path. Why was the path blocked especially because the accompanying image shows a field area.       
        exit;

    case "Title4":     
        message[0] = "When Link finally made his way into";
        message[1] = "Hyrule City, he searched for the prison
        message[2] = "where his uncle had been taken.
        message[3] = "Link entered one of the many shops
        message[4] = "to ask directions, but
        message[5] = "accidentally knocked over a vase.
        message[6] = "The shopowner angrily chased
        message[7] = "Link into the street, demanding
        message[8] = "an absurd compensation.
        exit;

    case "Title5":
        message[0] = "Numberous soldiers came and surrounded
        message[1] = "Link, but luckily they were part of";
        message[2] = "Zelda's escort. As she walked near,
        message[3] = "She called off her guards and took
        message[4] = "a good look at the young boy before";
        message[5] = 'drawing closer to whisper: "Help me."';
        exit;
These two sections seem weird. The bumping over the vase seems really forced in order to get Link in a confrontation with Zelda's soldiers. Then again soldiers escorting an important person would not leave their side to break up some commotion. Instead they would take Zelda away from it, whether they guard her or hold her prisoner.

I think the story would flow better if you have Link asking around where prisoners are taken to and he would then bump into the soldiers escorting Zelda. Link recognizes Zelda and tries to reason with her about releasing his uncle. But the soldiers stop him. Let link seek out the confrontation in this matter, in order to put right some wrongs.

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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #604 on: April 24, 2012, 08:56:08 pm »
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I've rewritten some sections of the story, taking both your comments to heart. Most of it at least. A lot of the first draft had been written knowing more of the story then I am telling, but I realise that was somewhat dumb. It will be a long time before this intro can be made into gameplay so the here and now is more important. So I cut some things.

Looking at this great feedback I may post some more in-game text as well. All the statues in the dungeon are supposed to tell tales of dead soldiers and I'm having trouble coming up with (enough) engaging stories and good writing.


But that's for a near future. Here is the rewritten intro text:

    case "Title1":
        message[0] = "The tale starts off with Link as he";
        message[1] = "is living with his uncle deep in the";
        message[2] = "vast western forest of Hyrule.";
        message[3] = "His uncle, a well-known blacksmith,";
        message[4] = "took him in as his apprentice a long";
        message[5] = "time ago. They spend weeks crafting";
        message[6] = "a beautiful ceremonial blade.";
        message[7] = "Elegant and perfectly balanced, it";
        message[8] = "was truly their best work to date.";
        exit;

    case "Title2":
        message[0] = "It was announced that princess Zelda";
        message[1] = "would soon be of age and wed, so a";
        message[2] = "festival was at hand in her honor.";
        message[3] = "They packed all their belongings and";
        message[4] = "set out for the city with the intent";
        message[5] = "of presenting their blade as a gift.";
        exit;

    case "Title3":
        message[0] = "Upon arriving at the borders of the";
        message[1] = "city of Hyrule, Link and his uncle";
        message[2] = "encountered soldiers everywhere.";
        message[3] = "By decree of the king anyone coming";
        message[4] = "to the festival looking the least bit";
        message[5] = "suspicious was to be arrested.";
        message[6] = "Carrying his blade, Link's uncle was";
        message[7] = "apprehended. Link, being left behind,";
        message[8] = "followed the soldiers into the city.";
        exit;

    case "Title4":
        message[0] = "Link started asking around for the";
        message[1] = "possible fate of his uncle, but found";
        message[2] = "that noone was willing to help him.";
        message[3] = "Nobody was even willing to really talk";
        message[4] = "to him. Seemingly scared of getting";
        message[5] = "arrested as well if deemed suspicious.";
        exit;

    case "Title5":
        message[0] = "Soldiers pasted, while escorting";
        message[1] = "princess Zelda. Link recognized her";
        message[2] = "and attempted to get her attention.";
        message[3] = "The guards took note and stopped him";
        message[4] = "from getting closer, but the princess";
        message[5] = "stepped in and quietly spoke to Link:";
        message[6] = '"I do not know you, but you should not';
        message[7] = 'ask my help. I am but a mere prisoner,';
        message[8] = 'waiting for her arranged marriage..."';
        exit;

    case "Title6":
        message[0] = "Little options were left for Link.";
        message[1] = "Something had to be done...";
        message[2] = " ";
        exit;
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #605 on: April 25, 2012, 08:08:24 pm »
  • It's just Max.
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I figured there was probably some reason you were adding some of those details in : )

As for your new script, there are still a few areas that are gramatically unsound.

Title1message5: They SPENT, not they SPEND.

Title4message0-1: Asking for the possible fate of his uncle reads a bit awkwardly. Maybe "Link asked everyone where prisoners were sent" or something to that effect.

Title4message2: "noone" is actually two words. "No one".

T4M3: "No one was even willing to really talk to him." The really is unnessecary and kind of awkward.

T4M4-5 "Seemingly scared of getting arrested as well as if deemed suspicious." There isn't a subject in this sentence :/  Maybe you could say "They seemed to be scared of being arrested themselves if they seemed suspicious." If that's what you're trying to communicate, and if it fits.

T5M0 - Soldiers aren't "pasting" unless they're working on an art project :p Also, "while" is kinda weird here. Try, "Soldiers passed, escorting princess Zelda." If that's too short, I'd suggest putting something in the front to communicate that this happened as Link was asking around. A word like, "presently", or something.

T6M0 - I think options are left "to", not "for". But I'm not 100% on that, just pretty sure.



As for the statues of dead soldiers, how long are the stories on each statue? If they're long enough for each one to be engaging, I feel like I'd be wandering through the dungeon, look at the statue, then be treated to a really long story about some guy I don't care about and I'd be frusturated because I just want to get on with the dungeon.

Maybe you could have all the statues tell just a part of ONE person's story. Isn't the dungeon the tomb of a king? Maybe they could all tell little bits of the king's story, and the player would learn a little bit about the king at a time, and in the end if they found all the statues they could maybe even figure a clue to a puzzle out to find a piece of heart or something.

Just an idea. But I really do think, as a player, the info on each statue should be short.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #606 on: April 25, 2012, 08:27:03 pm »
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I'll take another look at the intro text this weekend. Are you sure all of these things are wrong and not just preference issues?

Reading the text from the statues is fully optional, for those wanting to learn more about the lore. Text length is between 3 lines (common) and 9 lines (uncommon). They'll talk about an individual soldier's life, death or perspective on events.

It's the soldier's tomb btw. Not so much (just) the king's tomb. Each statue represents one soldier's final resting place.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #607 on: April 26, 2012, 01:14:50 am »
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Well, there are a couple that aren't strictly incorrect english.
T4M0-1 isn't technically incorrect, you couple probably get away with that one.
T4M3 Is kinda just a preference, but omitting the "really" would give your text a more consistant tone.
T5M0 Pasting definitely needs to be changed to passing, but I guess you would leave the while, it's not technically incorrect, it just reads awkwardly to me, so I guess it's a preference?

Yeah, I can understand why you wouldn't want to have to make the dialogue fit the same way if it wasn't necessary :p   So yeah, those corrections above are mainly just to give the text a more professional sound, they make it sound more natural to me. If you don't change it, it won't hurt my feelings, but if you wanted a second opinion on them that's what I'm here for :p

Also, though, I really like the idea of the soldiers' inscriptions. It kinda reminds me of Metroid Prime, where the plot was conveyed in completely optional, not-necessarily chronological snippets. It managed to develop quite nicely that way too, but I digress.

Anyway, you're kind of a hero for devoting such care to perfecting the gameplay while still developing such in-depth lore for your Hyrule. Your game will be a king among fangames, Martijn :D
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #608 on: April 27, 2012, 04:08:44 pm »
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And I appreciate the feedback. The story flows a lot better then the first version. Here is the latest version (in spoiler form to keep it compact):
Show content
    case "Title1":
        message[0] = "The tale starts off with Link as he";
        message[1] = "is living with his uncle deep in the";
        message[2] = "vast western forest of Hyrule.";
        message[3] = "His uncle, a well-known blacksmith,";
        message[4] = "took him in as his apprentice a long";
        message[5] = "time ago. They spent weeks crafting";
        message[6] = "a beautiful ceremonial blade.";
        message[7] = "Elegant and perfectly balanced, it";
        message[8] = "was truly their best work to date.";
        exit;

    case "Title2":
        message[0] = "It was announced that princess Zelda";
        message[1] = "would soon be of age and wed, so a";
        message[2] = "festival was at hand in her honor.";
        message[3] = "They packed all their belongings and";
        message[4] = "set out for the city with the intent";
        message[5] = "of presenting their blade as a gift.";
        exit;

    case "Title3":
        message[0] = "Upon arriving at the borders of the";
        message[1] = "city of Hyrule, Link and his uncle";
        message[2] = "encountered soldiers everywhere.";
        message[3] = "By decree of the king anyone coming";
        message[4] = "to the festival looking the least bit";
        message[5] = "suspicious was to be arrested.";
        message[6] = "Carrying his blade, Link's uncle was";
        message[7] = "apprehended. Link, being left behind,";
        message[8] = "followed the soldiers into the city.";
        exit;

    case "Title4":
        message[0] = "Link started asking around if there";
        message[1] = "was a way to help his uncle out, but";
        message[2] = "found that no one was willing to help.";
        message[3] = "Everybody was reluctant to even speak";
        message[4] = "with him. It was as if they were all";
        message[5] = "scared of being arrested themselves.";
        exit;

    case "Title5":
        message[0] = "Several soldiers passed, escorting";
        message[1] = "princess Zelda. Link recognized her";
        message[2] = "and attempted to get her attention.";
        message[3] = "The guards took note and stopped him";
        message[4] = "from getting closer, but the princess";
        message[5] = "stepped in and quietly spoke to Link:";
        message[6] = '"I do not know you, but you should not';
        message[7] = 'ask my help. I am but a mere prisoner,';
        message[8] = 'waiting for her arranged marriage..."';
        exit;

    case "Title6":
        message[0] = "Little options were left to Link.";
        message[1] = "Something had to be done...";
        message[2] = " ";
        exit;


Here is some more in-game text. This is the text for the four kings and a group of soldiers attached to the first king.
Show content
    case "BirdStatue1": // King 1
        message[0] = "Nahaj - 824 - The Wise";
        message[1] = '"A good ruler possesses the wisdom';
        message[2] = 'to protect his subjects from harm.';
        message[3] = 'In turn they shall protect him and';
        message[4] = 'grow closer together, which is the';
        message[5] = 'only way to open paths forwards."';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue2": // King 2
        message[0] = "Taback - 862 - The Courageous";
        message[1] = '"I once traveled the four corners';
        message[2] = 'of the world in search of courage.';
        message[3] = 'It was only afterwards that I found';
        message[4] = 'it was the journey that gave it to';
        message[5] = 'me and lit up my way forwards."';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue3": // King 3
        message[0] = "VanMol - xxx - The Strong";
        message[1] = '"I refuse to die!';
        message[2] = 'My thoughtfully achievements were';
        message[3] = 'those of a fool and I will shame this';
        message[4] = 'royal resting place when I do die.';
        message[5] = 'So I gave up my crown to my wiser';
        message[6] = 'brother and became his knight.';
        message[7] = 'I refuse to die. None shall touch him';
        message[8] = 'for as long as I still draw breath."';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue4": // King 4
        message[0] = "Brahim - 915 - The Benevolent";
        message[1] = '"Have I faltered? Have I shamed the';
        message[2] = 'names of the great kings now resting';
        message[3] = 'beneath me?';
        message[4] = 'I die in the knowledge that I leave my';
        message[5] = 'kingdom behind turned half to stone.';
        message[6] = 'My only solice is that I believe the';
        message[7] = 'remainder of my people has been';
        message[8] = 'spared this madness of Medu."';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue1": // Female archer
        message[0] = "Celeste - 797";
        message[1] = 'A female archer with skills rivaling';
        message[2] = 'most, if not all, others of her time.';
        message[3] = 'This often led to rival relationships.';
        message[4] = 'The most competative being with';
        message[5] = 'Atura. Died of illness far too young.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue2": // Male rival
        message[0] = "Atura - 827";
        message[1] = 'Master archer with a lifelong goal to';
        message[2] = 'surpass all others archers. He did,';
        message[3] = 'except with Celeste in their youth.';
        message[4] = 'To this day he resented her for';
        message[5] = 'dying before he could rival her.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue3": // Third knight
        message[0] = "Eternita - 831";
        message[1] = 'A bulky knight. Strong, respected';
        message[2] = 'and beloved by those left behind.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue4": // Father
        message[0] = "Sir. Bapel - 821";
        message[1] = 'First retainer to king Nahaj. Served';
        message[2] = 'long and together with of his son.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue5": // Fabled mountain fighter
        message[0] = "Hangre - 834 - The Mountain Giant";
        message[1] = 'Earned the nickname from his large';
        message[2] = 'physical appearance and strength.';
        message[3] = 'Was very well respected, even in the';
        message[4] = 'eastern lands, for his fighting skills';
        message[5] = 'with the axe.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue6": // Son
        message[0] = "Ivion - 838";
        message[1] = 'Retainer to king Nahaj. Followed his';
        message[2] = 'father in a long line of knights.';
        exit;
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #609 on: April 27, 2012, 05:13:12 pm »
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It is much better. I am somewhat relieved that you don't have to fight the King of Hyrule just to change the oppressive laws and propaganda.

One more thing: Will the Triforce, the lifeblood of Hyrule and the center of balance in the mystical land, be in play?
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #610 on: April 27, 2012, 05:39:27 pm »
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There will be no Triforce or mystical land in play for at least the first 3 to 4 dungeons. Not even any mentions. Beyond that ... I can't say. I'm not going to use Ganon at all, so I might not include the other elements either. I'll just keep everyone in suspense on the subject... for the next year or so I guess XD
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #611 on: April 27, 2012, 08:14:45 pm »
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Here is some more in-game text. This is the text for the four kings and a group of soldiers attached to the first king.
Show content
    case "BirdStatue1": // King 1
        message[0] = "Nahaj - 824 - The Wise";
        message[1] = '"A good ruler possesses the wisdom';
        message[2] = 'to protect his subjects from harm.';
        message[3] = 'In turn they shall protect him and';
        message[4] = 'grow closer together, which is the';
        message[5] = 'only way to open paths forwards."';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue2": // King 2
        message[0] = "Taback - 862 - The Courageous";
        message[1] = '"I once traveled the four corners';
        message[2] = 'of the world in search of courage.';
        message[3] = 'It was only afterwards that I found';
        message[4] = 'it was the journey that gave it to';
        message[5] = 'me and lit up my way forwards."';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue3": // King 3
        message[0] = "VanMol - xxx - The Strong";
        message[1] = '"I refuse to die!';
        message[2] = 'My thoughtfully achievements were';
        message[3] = 'those of a fool and I will shame this';
        message[4] = 'royal resting place when I do die.';
        message[5] = 'So I gave up my crown to my wiser';
        message[6] = 'brother and became his knight.';
        message[7] = 'I refuse to die. None shall touch him';
        message[8] = 'for as long as I still draw breath."';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue4": // King 4
        message[0] = "Brahim - 915 - The Benevolent";
        message[1] = '"Have I faltered? Have I shamed the';
        message[2] = 'names of the great kings now resting';
        message[3] = 'beneath me?';
        message[4] = 'I die in the knowledge that I leave my';
        message[5] = 'kingdom behind turned half to stone.';
        message[6] = 'My only solice is that I believe the';
        message[7] = 'remainder of my people has been';
        message[8] = 'spared this madness of Medu."';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue1": // Female archer
        message[0] = "Celeste - 797";
        message[1] = 'A female archer with skills rivaling';
        message[2] = 'most, if not all, others of her time.';
        message[3] = 'This often led to rival relationships.';
        message[4] = 'The most competative being with';
        message[5] = 'Atura. Died of illness far too young.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue2": // Male rival
        message[0] = "Atura - 827";
        message[1] = 'Master archer with a lifelong goal to';
        message[2] = 'surpass all others archers. He did,';
        message[3] = 'except with Celeste in their youth.';
        message[4] = 'To this day he resented her for';
        message[5] = 'dying before he could rival her.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue3": // Third knight
        message[0] = "Eternita - 831";
        message[1] = 'A bulky knight. Strong, respected';
        message[2] = 'and beloved by those left behind.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue4": // Father
        message[0] = "Sir. Bapel - 821";
        message[1] = 'First retainer to king Nahaj. Served';
        message[2] = 'long and together with of his son.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue5": // Fabled mountain fighter
        message[0] = "Hangre - 834 - The Mountain Giant";
        message[1] = 'Earned the nickname from his large';
        message[2] = 'physical appearance and strength.';
        message[3] = 'Was very well respected, even in the';
        message[4] = 'eastern lands, for his fighting skills';
        message[5] = 'with the axe.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue6": // Son
        message[0] = "Ivion - 838";
        message[1] = 'Retainer to king Nahaj. Followed his';
        message[2] = 'father in a long line of knights.';
        exit;
Some are written in first person, some are written in the third person. Choose one of the two styles, not both. It seems confusing. The best thing to consider is who tells the story about these people to Link. If each individual tells their own story, use the first person. If someone else tells Link about these people use third person style. At least stay consistent.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #612 on: April 27, 2012, 08:47:32 pm »
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I figured each person is different and died under their own circumstances. Some have their last words remembered. Others have their text filled in by those left behind. As the kings are important there words are written in first person / last words. For the rest you can expect them to be more or less all in third perspective.

I'll take your comment into consideration though, but I do not see a problem with alternating the perspectives a little bit.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #613 on: April 27, 2012, 08:54:28 pm »
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Okay, but the first king is also in third person. But if it is a eulogy, then it is best to keep it as third person, because they are written after death. And dead people don't write much. No matter how much the person terrorised the one who wrote the eulogy.
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #614 on: April 28, 2012, 05:09:58 am »
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After watching the videos on the front page of this thread, I am speechless. Amazing work. I'll be reading the rest of this thread right now.  :o
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #615 on: April 29, 2012, 08:58:08 pm »
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I always like reading these kind of comments. :)

@ Niek: I'll be editing all of the text to third person.
Does anybody have any other issues with the text as it is written right now?
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #616 on: April 30, 2012, 07:24:33 pm »
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Progress update for this week:

0.12.124 (24 april)
+ Edited the intro text / length

0.12.125 (27 april)
+ Fixed issue: continuing after death in the boss fight makes the boss fight dissappear
+ Fixed issue: Fairies move through walls and such if outside of the current room
+ Edited fairy movement routine slightly
+ Improved collissions checking with fairies
+ Edited the intro text a little again
+ Fairies can be created from containers and enemies

0.12.126 (28 april)
+ Bottled fairies can now be released
+ Improved movement engine for fairies. Default fairies can now ignore terrains.

0.12.127 (29 april)
+ Edited released fairy positioning to prevent it from appearing inside a wall or something
+ Edited the text for some statues

0.12.128 (30 april)
+ Edited the text for some statues
+ Edited the fairy room a little
+ Fixed issues with copying gamefiles
+ Added text to some more statues
+ Enemy shadows can now use an alpha value
+ Picking the repeat text option clears the textbox content before continuing
+ Made a fair bit of progress on the dungeon ending scene

Still left to do till the next demo:
- Dungeon ending scene
- Adding text to all the statues in the dungeon (to add some light lore)
- Adding skeletons with bows
- Tweaking the collectable fairies <-- now finished
- Finish quake medallion
- Editing the magic usage system
- Building a new depth system (!)
- Going through all the rooms in entire dungeon (with testers) to tweak things like item/enemy placement and to check performance.
- Make sure about 6 rooms of the desert dungeon are playable

EDIT: Here is also an image of the plant flud room I worked on last week.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2012, 07:32:26 pm by Martijn dh »
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #617 on: May 03, 2012, 08:17:47 pm »
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I've rewritten some of the text for the statues. Here is all the text inside the dungeon (scenes and such excluded). Feel free to comment on anything you read. Feedback is always welcome.

The kings
Show content
    case "BirdStatue1": // King 1
        message[0] = "Nahaj - 824 - The Wise";
        message[1] = 'A kind king who used all of his wisdom';
        message[2] = 'and influence to protect the people.';
        message[3] = 'In turn they florished under his rule,';
        message[4] = 'loving him. He believed such a peace';
        message[5] = 'to be the true path into the future.';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue2": // King 2
        message[0] = "Taback - 862 - The Courageous";
        message[1] = 'Before he became king, he ventured';
        message[2] = 'to the four corners of the world to';
        message[3] = 'find courage. It was upon his return';
        message[4] = 'that he finally realised it was the';
        message[5] = 'journey itself that brought it out.';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue3": // King 3 - YEAR
        message[0] = "VanMol - ??? - The Strong";
        message[1] = 'Even as king he was widely known as';
        message[2] = 'strong and idealic. Unfortunatly, his';
        message[3] = 'was the rule to be plagued by season';
        message[4] = 'upon season of bad weather, nearly';
        message[5] = 'breaking the kingdom. After that he';
        message[6] = 'gave up the crown to his brother and';
        message[7] = 'swore to instead protect the people';
        message[8] = 'as head of the royal knights.';
        exit;

    case "BirdStatue4": // King 4
        message[0] = "Brahim - 915 - The Benevolant";
        message[1] = 'Where his brother, king VanMol, saw';
        message[2] = 'the kingdom weaken by the elements,';
        message[3] = "Brahim had to witness it's eventual";
        message[4] = 'destruction from within. The sight of';
        message[5] = 'his people turned to stone, without a';
        message[6] = 'doubt, broke his heart, but it never';
        message[7] = 'made him show anything but the kind';
        message[8] = 'and gentle ruler we had always seen.';
        exit;

The knights under King Nahaj
Show content
    case "F1-03-Statue1": // Female archer
        message[0] = "Celeste - 797";
        message[1] = 'A female archer with skills rivaling';
        message[2] = 'most, if not all, others of her time.';
        message[3] = 'This often led to rival relationships.';
        message[4] = 'The most competative being with';
        message[5] = 'Atura. Died of illness far too young.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue2": // Male rival
        message[0] = "Atura - 827";
        message[1] = 'Master archer with a lifelong goal to';
        message[2] = 'surpass all other archers. He did,';
        message[3] = 'except with Celeste in their youth.';
        message[4] = 'To this day he resented her for';
        message[5] = 'dying before he could rival her.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue3": // Third knight
        message[0] = "Eternita - 831";
        message[1] = 'A bulky knight. Strong, respected';
        message[2] = 'and beloved by those left behind.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue4": // Father
        message[0] = "Sir. Bapel - 821";
        message[1] = 'First retainer to king Nahaj. Served';
        message[2] = 'long and together with of his son.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue5": // Fabled mountain fighter
        message[0] = "Hangre - 834 - The Mountain Giant";
        message[1] = 'Earned the nickname from his large';
        message[2] = 'physical appearance and strength.';
        message[3] = 'Was very well respected, even in the';
        message[4] = 'eastern lands, for his fighting skills';
        message[5] = 'with the axe.';
        exit;

    case "F1-03-Statue6": // Son
        message[0] = "Ivion - 838";
        message[1] = 'Retainer to king Nahaj. Followed his';
        message[2] = 'father in a long line of knights.';
        exit;

Guardians daughter of king Taback
Show content
    case "B1-12-Statue1": // Younger guardian princess1 Taback
        message[0] = "Deman - 889";
        message[1] = 'Younger guard of princess Josiana.';
        message[2] = 'Moved with the princess to Hyrule';
        message[3] = 'upon her marriage and did not return';
        message[4] = 'till years later, after his duty had';
        message[5] = 'been fully fullfilled as a true knight.';
        exit;

    case "B1-12-Statue2": // Older guardian princess1 Taback
        message[0] = "Roysia - 865";
        message[1] = 'Older guard of princess Josiana';
        message[2] = 'Loyally protected the princess from';
        message[3] = 'birth till marriage, 26 years later.';
        exit;

Gatekeepers
Show content
    case "B1-22-Statue1": // Gatekeeper 1A - Remus
        message[0] = "Remus - 785";
        message[1] = 'Father of Sevrin. Famed for his great';
        message[2] = 'endurance in combat and succes in';
        message[3] = 'guarding the castle gates from all';
        message[4] = 'opposing forces.';
        exit;

    case "B1-22-Statue2": // Gatekeeper 1B - Reisan
        message[0] = "Reisan - 790 - Scar";
        message[1] = 'One of the few gatekeepers serving';
        message[2] = 'under both king Nahaj and Taback.';
        message[3] = 'His many battlescars were a clear';
        message[4] = 'testament to the many battles he';
        message[5] = 'fought to protect the kingdom.';
        exit;

    case "B2-08-Statue1": // Gatekeeper 2A - Cynewijn
        message[0] = "Cynewijn - 832 - The demon";
        message[1] = 'Daughter of Remus. Timid most of the';
        message[2] = "time, but a true demon in combat.";
        exit;

    case "B2-08-Statue2": // Gatekeeper 2B - Jeunan
        message[0] = "Jeunan - 852";
        message[1] = 'Guarded the gates of the kingdom for';
        message[2] = 'years after the passing of Cynewijn.';
        message[3] = 'In the end he was forced to retire by';
        message[4] = 'taking an arrow to the knee.';
        exit;

    case "B1-03-Statue1": // Gatekeeper 3 - Xapan
        message[0] = "Xapan - 902 - The gatekeeper";
        message[1] = 'As a young replacement for Jeunan';
        message[2] = 'he ended up serving longer then any';
        message[3] = 'other knight before him. And despite';
        message[4] = 'numerous attempts, not a single soul';
        message[5] = 'ever managed to best or pass him.';
        exit;

    case "B1-26-Statue1": // Gatekeeper 4A - Donnalto
        message[0] = "Donnalto - 903";
        message[1] = 'Secundairy gatekeeper under Brahim.';
        message[2] = 'Slain by Medu as he turned to warn';
        message[3] = 'his fellow knights of the danger that';
        message[4] = 'had come to their doorsteps.';
        exit;

    case "B1-26-Statue2": // Gatekeeper 4B - Folke
        message[0] = "Folke - 923 - The last";
        message[1] = 'Caught stealing out of poverty he';
        message[2] = 'was brought before Brahim. The king';
        message[3] = 'saw potential in the boy and offered';
        message[4] = 'a second chance as an enlisted man.';
        message[5] = 'He was eternally gratefull for this.';
        message[6] = 'In the end it was Folke who stayed';
        message[7] = 'behind as the last gaurdian for our';
        message[8] = 'now abandoned kingdom.';
        exit;

Ring of Eurus backstory
Show content
    case "B2-07-Statue1": // Eurus - YEAR
        message[0] = "Eurus - ???";
        message[1] = 'During his quest to find the golden';
        message[2] = 'land he stumbled upon a small ring.';
        message[3] = 'Whenever he held it in his hand a gust';
        message[4] = 'of wind came down from the east to';
        message[5] = 'put chills down his spine.';
        exit;

    case "B2-07-Statue2": // Notus - YEAR
        message[0] = "Notus - ???";
        message[1] = 'One of the four knights to bring the';
        message[2] = 'dreaded ring of Eurus to our kingdom.';
        message[3] = 'The ring was a cursed item, said to';
        message[4] = 'call the spirits of all its previous';
        message[5] = 'owners to haunt its current wearer.';
        exit;

    case "B2-07-Statue3": // Zephyrus - YEAR
        message[0] = "Zephyrus - ???";
        message[1] = 'The ring of Eurus was to be given to';
        message[2] = 'king Nahaj as a gift, but Zephyrus';
        message[3] = 'had doubts. He ended up locating an';
        message[4] = 'old mage to have her bind its power.';
        message[5] = 'The ring was hidden afterwards.';
        exit;

    case "B2-07-Statue4": // Boreas - YEAR
        message[0] = "Boreas - ???";
        message[1] = 'Younger brother of Eurus. They once';
        message[2] = 'argued over the ring that was found.';
        message[3] = 'Boreas put it on and instantly the';
        message[4] = 'skies turned dark with winds picking';
        message[5] = 'up. He never came near it again.'
        exit;

Misc
Show content
    case "B1-23-Block1": // Riddle info
        message[0] = "As king Nahaj renovated the tombs";
        message[1] = 'he called his five best workers.';
        message[2] = 'Each as strong as two regular men.';
        message[3] = 'The three working together best';
        message[4] = 'were allowed to go on ahead. The';
        message[5] = 'rest stayed to work on this room.';
        exit;
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #618 on: May 06, 2012, 05:43:52 pm »
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A LOT of progress has been made of the past couple of days. I am currently about halfway through implementing a whole new depth system. Let me tell you... it's a lot of work.

I'm playing it very safe by examining every single object and script in the game for depth usage, but that is no guarantee that I won't miss some new issues. If anybody is willing to do some testing then let me know. The checklist before the next demo is gradually shrinking and it'd like to have had some people test the game before I release it mid June.


Progress made this last week:

0.12.129 (1 mei)
+ Replaced the pendants with rings

0.12.130 (3 mei)
+ Edited ring sprites
+ More statues in the dungeon have something to say

0.12.131 (4 mei)
+ Finished dungeon ending scenes

0.12.132 (5 mei)
+ Started work on the new depth system (outside area is now fully converted)
+ Combined movable objects into a single object

0.12.133 (6 mei)
+ Continued work on the new depth system (sewer area is now fully converted)
+ Movable objects can now contain animated sprites
+ Tall torches / large torches / desert pillars have been converted into movable objects


Still left to do till the next demo:
- Dungeon ending scene <-- now finished
- Adding text to all the statues in the dungeon (to add some light lore)
- Adding skeletons with bows
- Finish quake medallion
- Editing the magic usage system
- Building a new depth system (!) <-- about halfway finished
- Going through all the rooms in entire dungeon (with testers) to tweak things like item/enemy placement and to check performance.
- Make sure about 6 rooms of the desert dungeon are playable

EDIT: And here is video to celebrate the progress made.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlYmVIcLu-w" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlYmVIcLu-w</a>
« Last Edit: May 06, 2012, 09:48:23 pm by Martijn dh »
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Re: [Demo] Tech demo - Horn of Balance
« Reply #619 on: May 07, 2012, 12:30:11 am »
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Somebody slap me. I forgot to check in.
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