Well, I've started a new IP which has a way better foundation than any of my other numerous projects, thanks to The Ultimate Guide To Game Writing and Design. I want you guys to give me your suggestions and criticism. Well here it goes:
[STORY]
The story opens in Venns, a small agricultural-based town. The time is one of peace, electricity is thousands of years away. Suddenly, the peace is broken with the sounds of dozens of motorcycles. The townspeople get scared and confused, and call upon their small militia. The cyclists are revealed to be soldiers led by Elites, the higher-ups. The lower class soldiers are called Bishops, who wear a uniform of less durability. The soldiers jump into the sky, revealing a metal spine connecting them to their backs. The motorcycles transform and attach themselves to the soldiers backs. They proceed to pull gun-blades from their sheaths and attack the townspeople. The towns force is obliterated, while only a handful of Bishops have collapsed.
Magni(you) wakes up against a tree to the sound of explosions. He runs to investigate, weilding his hammer. Then initiates a playable sequence where you fight around 20 Bishops. After, Magni is approached by an Elite and to both of their surprises, Magni shoots a large bolt of lightning from his hand. Magni is apalled at what had happened but decides that it isn't the time to mess around. More Elites come forward, and in a short panic, Magni grabs one of the motorcycle packs and starts driving away as fast as it will allow. Many Elites pursue him, and the chase is on.
Another playable sequence initiates, this one similar to Final Fantasy 7's motorcycle chase. You control the vehicle with the left analog stick, use your hammer with B, and shoots lightning with X. Once one Elite is left both of them stop, both prepare to engage in battle. Magni starts conjuring a large bolt, while the Elite(Seiz) proceeds to pull out a disk-like object called a FED*. and prepares to trap Magni in an interdimensional prison. Both the beam from the FED and the Bolt cross, causing a large wormhole to appear. Both Magni and Seiz are sucked in, along with some other collapsed Elites, leaving them in a strange void. The only evidence of what just happened is one of the Elites visors resting on what looks like a crater.
Magni and Seiz drift through dimensions and time, awaiting the time they will awake and be free.
[End]
I have put a lot of work into this and it would mean a lot if you guys gave me your critique. Thanks.
*FED-Federal Entrapment Device