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|< Before >|

I started writing down ideas a while back about a story I wanted to write. I hope you enjoy it.



Chapter One

THE DOME

-~-

The room is white. I sit up and looked around, a bit unsure of my suroundings. There was no detail anywhere. It is small, with a door completely ahead of me. I lay on a large white bed.

I'm seventeen. I have thick brown hair, and I like to keep it short.  Its pretty long right now.  I'm pretty short for my age, and I'm known as the class loser.  I'm not quite sure where I am. I get up and walk towards the door. It doesn't have a handle and opens as I walk toward it.

A soft female voice comes from the ceiling;

"Welcome Seth Aaron, to the Dome. I hope you had a nice sleep. Please do not be alarmed of your return. Please report to the main hall where you will be taken to the head doctor."

I wander out to a very large hall. A large hovering seat floats in a dreamy way over to me and in a robot like voice tells me to sit down. I do.

It immediately jerks into a motion that makes me feel like sleeping. It goes through another door into a mass dome with hundreds of people were moving in an orderly fashion to certain areas.

I stare at one of the faces. They aren't human. A blank expression sits on their face. They are bald and have very large eyes that don't actually look at anything. I'm completely mesmerized. They all seem to look the same.

The seat moves into a small hall with stairs in front of me. I get off and walk up the stairs. I feel tired.

As I enter the room I notice a large desk with a man sitting at it. He has a small short beard and thick brown hair.

"Welcome," He strokes his beard, "To the Under-Dome 3073. I can see you are quite confused. We have taken you back. A small mistake was made of putting you on Earth. You are supposed to be on Lear, another world that needs you. We have a nice family waiting for you to be born."

I look at him, not saying anything. I don't feel right here.

"What do you mean? Taken back?"

"We sometimes make mistakes of putting people on the right world. We don't always know what is right until the mistake is maken. We need your talents on Lear, so that people there will benefit from you. I don't know exactly how to explain this to a human, your brains are so much smaller then ours. Have you ever seen a missing sign on bulletins before?"

This question confuses me even more, "Yes."

"Those are people that have been taken back, to be put on Lear, or vice-versa."

I stare, "But who cares if Earth gets a bit ahead of this "Lear". I mean, your ripping families apart just to make a balance."

"You don't quite understand. If the worlds get too much out of balance, we might lose control over one of them."

"But..."

"Enough of this, would you like some coffee?" Two cups flip up from the desk and a valve pours coffee into each. I grab a cup and slowly begin to sip from it.

I begin to become more curious, "Whats your name?"

"I go by Enra Growls around here, but my real name is M378C2783UD3073."

"Your name is in numbers because?"

"Our names go by our race, sex, and which under-dome we coroperate in."

"Enra Growls, I regonize that name."

"You are a mere human. You shouldn't recognize any names of the supirior humonies.

I suddenly remember the expressionless human like things, "What are those dead like things that float around in that large hall?"

"They are human souls, they are made here before they are born."

I suddenly start thinking, "Then how can a human like me exist in a place where only human souls can be functional?"

He looks me deeply in the eye. I have a funny feeling that he knows more about me then what he makes me believe, "That is a question I cannot answer."

[Piers]

Piers

Re: |< Before >|

Seems a bit dis-orginized. Like the part where it says "I'm seventeen." then totally throws off the rest by not describing the rest of him/her.

[AoDC]

AoDC

Re: |< Before >|

The story so far is fine, just some corrections needing to be done (spelling, grammar, etc).

the a o d c

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

I'll fix it up a bit. 

*goes to fix the part where "he's seventeen"*

Do you think its good other then that?

[Deku_stick]

Deku_stick

Re: |< Before >|

interesting story dude keep on

• 

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

Here's Chapter 2.  This chapter kinda explains whats really going on, and mostly is Seth exploring his surroundings.


Chapter 2

MILEO AND VILE

Enra is a odd person.  I feel like I know him from somewhere.  Questions are going in and out of my brain like madness.  "What is a Humanie?" or "Why would they pick me?" are some of the questions I wish I would never have.  I don't really mind being here, but I'm very unsure of whats going to happen to me. 

He kept talking about Lear, and Earth.  I don't quite follow his logic on this one.  Why would you lose control of one world if it falls behind the other.  It can't be magic, I don't believe in any of the sort.  But from what I've learned here, I'm very unsure of anything.  How do I even know Lear exists?  Or even Earth?

The female voice bellows out into my room again, "Please come to the Main Hall to be taken to the dining room."

I stagger out toward the door and it slowly opens.  The machine appears in front of me and I sit down.  It begins at a slow pace and starts speeding off. 

My eyes droop...

< My mother strokes my head.  I'm in the office of my school and my mother, my principle and myself are sitting down having a meeting.  I'm seven years old.  They are talking about how I am very far ahead of the class and that I am always disrupting topics and learning experiences. 

The principle asks my mother if she would like me to go to an excelerated program, in Louisiana.  My mother shakes her head and says we wouldn't be able to afford it. >

The jerking stop wakes me up.  I look around and notice I'm in a large cafeteria, with about a dozen people around tables in deep chatter.

A short kid walks up to me.  He looks about fifteen.  He has short hair thats tied back and deep blue eyes that seem to see through me.

"I'm Connor.  You new around here?"

I nod and he motions me to the stall.  A large lady stands there.

"Take yer food," She dumped a large scoop of mushy grey goopy stuff onto a plate.  Then she put a few cracker like things beside it and shoved it towards me.

I look at the food and then lift my head and ask sheepishly, "What is this exactly?"

"The hard stuff is Mileo and the runny stuff is Vile.  Take it or don't eat."  She turns to Connor and they began to talk about their day working.

I wander over to a table and slowly sit down.  I don't even want to look at the food.  I poke the vile with my fork and it slides across the plate.

Connor walks over and sits across from me.  He emediatly starts eating.  He realizes I'm not eating anything and says "You've never had Mileo and Vile before have you.  I know it doesn't look pretty but taste it."

I take a small bite of the vile and an exilerating feeling goes over me, "Wow, its amazing."  He laughs.

"So, you human right?"  He questions me and takes another bite.

"Yeah, aren't you?"

"Nope, 100% pure Humanie,"  He laughs.

I look at him and begin to ask, "Whats the difference?"

"Humanies are supposedly much smarter then humans.  They live hundreds of years longer then humans.  I think thats why we aren't born on earth or lear because it would screw up everything that goes on there.  I haven't really studied the differences between them but I think thats it."

I stare at my empty plate and it melds into the table, completely disapearing.  Connor laughs as my face becomes so amazed at this, "You'll get used to it."

He gets up and tells me to follow.  We walk through a corridor where a few other humanies are walking around.  We then take a sharp corner into an office similar to Enra's. 

Connor sits down and a screen came up from the desk, "Seth Aaron, Seth Aaron, There you are." 

I look at the screen and a picture of myself and a large amount of text.  It knew everything of what I had done with my life.  My eyes drifted to below my picture.  My dome name; MO57C277UD2073."

"You can help me with my work.  I work at this old computer repair shop.  You know how to build computers or repair them don't you?"

I nod.



* * *


I'm very good friends with Connor now.  Its been three days since I first met him.  We haven't really done much in the shop other then talk,  The computers are amazing here.

I look over at Connor, he's dusting, "So what happens when they put you in another world?"

"Well, they wipe the mind and then put them into a mother ready to have a child.  We don't really want to kill a soul every time parents fail having a child, so we only put a soul in if we know they will be born and live to at least 3, because even if a baby doesn't have a soul, you can't really tell because they will just do whats normal, similar to animals."

"So I won't remember you at all when I get born?"

"Nope, never.  I baby is born with no experiences, and it should be kept that way.  If we had smart babies being born, just think about it."



* * *


I slowly walk back to my room.  My mind is racing.  I am going to lose my memory.  I'd had a concussion when I was twelve and I'd lost hours of memory.  That was what was going to happen to me.

I'm very scared.




I hope you liked it and Chapter three should be up pretty soon

Feedback?

[AoDC]

AoDC

Re: |< Before >|

You need to keep to either past or present tense. It irritates me seeing "ed" on the ends of things, when they shouldnt.

the a o d c

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

Err... there was only one mistake and I fixed it.

Chapter 3

WHAT IS REAL, EXACTLY?




I look over at the playground.  Two small children are on the slide.  Their mother watches from a bench.  She looks very tired, and her hair is tied back in a bun.  The children are both boys with short brown hair.  One is larger then the other. 

I think they are brothers, but I'm not completly sure.  The small one doesn't walk like a normal person, he kind of swaggers.

I walk over to the swings.  School just ended, but I don't really feel like going home.  I sit down on the swings and start thinking over my day.

I got in a fight with Jim Miguay, he said I was a loser.  The other guys watched and laughed at me, calling me "Nerd" or "Loser". 

I think it is because I got perfect on a text.  It was science.  Mrs. Doug showed of my paper to the class and everyone looked at me weird.

The test was so easy, yet the other students just don't understand anything.  The second best kid in my class only gets 84%. 

I'm in an excellerated class, and the work is supposed to be so much harder then normal school.  These are supposed to be the smartest kids in Colorado, and yet they act like they know nothing.

I begin to watch the mother of the kids.  She's watching me, I can tell.  Whenever I look at her she looks away, but when I look out at the field she looks back.  The kids are also looking at me.

I always get feelings like I'm not normal, people always look at me funny but when I look at myself I look normal.  I just don't get it.

The ground all of a sudden becomes very interesting for me.  I watch an ant carry a large leaf twice the size of him.  Then another bug, which I can't name begins to kill the ant.

I feel an itching pain on the back of my neck.  My hand goes back to scratch it but when I bring my hand back its covered in blood.  I stand up surprised and confused because I can't feel the cut. 

A large screeching pain comes into my back,  I try to reach for it to see if I can help myself, but the cut is too far in the middle of my back to reach.  My eyes can't see right, and my mouth starts coughing out blood. 

I look over at the mother and kids for help.  They just continue playing but the mother is watching me very carefully now.  My vision completely blanks out, and the pain in my back isn't so bad anymore.

* * *

I'm starting to remember how I came here.  Connor told me a person doesn't remember himself dying on Earth or Lear, but I'm seeing it very clearly in my dreams. 

The mother in my dreams (and reality?) looks somewhat familar but I can't figure out what is so familar about her.  She had a compassionate look on her face when I... came off of earth.  Maybe this is a sign, that these people at the playground aren't just normal people.  I don't think a normal person would ignore someone bursting out with blood all of a sudden.  It's all very confusing.

Connor walks into the room and calls out for me to come.  I think were going on a tour of the Dome.  He said something about it last time we were in the shop.

I get up, put on a shirt and walk out the door.


I know its short, but this small chapter will have a lot to do with the rest. 

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

I decided to just start writing it, so... here it is =p

Chapter 4

WHAT LIES BEHIND THE MIRROR



They've decided when I'm going to be put into Lear, tommorow.  Connor told me we're going to have a fun last day together.  We haven't really decided on what to do but I know for a fact that we will be watching some movies made by the people around the dome.

I arrive at the cafeteria and sit down beside a new person I've never met.  She's looks very young.  Her thick glasses hide her eyes so I can't really tell what she's thinking when she looks at me.

"Hi" I say nervously, "Can I sit here?"

She looks at me and shakes her head slowly.  She looks nervous around me.  That makes two of us.

I get up and walk to another table, Connor walks in.  I'm relieved, I've noticed he's the only one who will actually talk to me, other then the lunch lady and Enra.

I'm eating as Connor sits across from me.  He starts talking about movies that have been made around here.  From what I've heard they are very clever.

We've finished our food so we go back my room.  I grab some new (white) clothes and we head over to Connors room.  There is a TV in it, and a bed.

We start up the tv and put a movie on.  Its about a lost soul that wants to be born, and can't because all the other souls have rejected it.  Its more like a comedy, but you don't know really when to laugh.

A woman who looks about my age enters the screen.  She looks very familar to me, and I can't really tell why.  I ask Connor who that is and he answers with a "Brielle". 

...

After watching a few movies its late and so I head back into my room.  I start thinking about Brielle.  I know her. 

The curiosity overwhelms me.  All these familarities of this place are so confusing. 

I sit down on my bed and look at the roof.  White.  I'm sick of white.  Its giving me a headache.

Wait, I don't think its the white thats giving me a headache.  I'm not sure what it is.  I think something is wrong with me.

A sudden thought appears in my head.  I don't think Enra brought me back because everyone needs me on Lear.  There must be another reason.

I'm going to figure that reason out, tonight, before its too late.






This one is really short... I didn't really want to meld it with Chapter 5 because I have a lot planned for it and if I put it with it it would be very, very long.

Feedback?

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

Chapter 5

DEATH BELONGS ALONE


The door opens as I walk over to it.  I've decided on going to Enra's computer.  I don't think I have anything to really lose if I'm caught, I hope.

I'm going to have to walk the whole way because if I use one of the machines I'm for sure to be caught.  I start walking the way I was taken and quickly remember a problem.  The large dome where the human souls is in my way, and only people on machines can go there.

I think if I go around where it is I can get there.  I walk around a corner, but back away because a humanie is sitting there watching.

He looks very tired, so I wait for the right moment when he closes his eyes and begins to fall asleep to quickly rush by.

I finally find Enra's office.  I walk into the carefully into it, watching for any sign of people.  I'm clear.

I sit down at the desk and the computer screen turns on.  It blazes white.

The computer is coded by a password.  Frick.  I start thinking of guesses of what it could be.

I try his dome name, no luck.  I start thinking of people he might be close to.  I then think back to the movies we watched.  I instantly remember Brielle.  I try it, no luck. 

Maybe its her dome name?  I don't know how or why I'm thinking of Brielle, but for some reason I think that it could be her.  I start thinking about how dome names are created.  Race, Sex, and Underdome.  Race would be Female, and the numbers after Enra were 378.

F378.  She's Caucaison, so it would be C278.  Underdome was 3073.  F378C278UD2073.  I try it.

I'm in.  I have no idea how I just did this, but it worked.  I enter a search of Seth Aaron.  My profile comes up.

I start skimming down the page to see anything out of the ordinary.  It mostly just talks about grades and accomplishments of myself on earth.  Then it goes to where I was born, where I lived.

I look down to the part about re-birth.  No.  This isn't happening.  It can't.

The mother they chose to birth me, is going to abort.




I shortened chapter 5 and took half of it to make chapter 6, so that it would make a little more sense of whats going on.  I don't think the original idea for chapter 5 would have worked, so I thought about it and came up with this.

Feedback on this chapter?

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

Uhh... this is the fourth post without anybody replying, should I stop posting them here?


Chapter 6

LOST MEMORIES


I'm really scared.  I don't know where to go.  I think I can trust Connor, so I head for his room.  It takes a while to get there from dodging gaurds and people walking around. 

I haven't really noticed this before, but now that I think about it, its starting to show.  The older people here tend to look at me awkwardly.  I can't talk to them because they just give me an odd look.  The little guys just don't talk, and act really nervous around me, but I guess thats just because I'm new. 

I'm at Connor's room now.  I knock quietly at the door and I hear grunting and a "what?".  I whisper quietly but loud enough for him to hear me that its me.

He opens the door and invites me in.  Everything I was thinking starts pouring out of me like syrup in a bottle.  When I tell him that I'm going to be killed he asks me how I figured this out.

I tell him about me going to Enra's room.  He's pretty surprised I think from the expression coming from his face.

He's really quiet for a while.  I hope he'll have a plan.  My life depends on it.



* * *



"Ok."  He looks at me.  Its been an hour since he went quiet.  I've just sat on the floor thinking, "I'm going to get Elain to help us.  She's a nice girl around your age that works in the birthing departement.  I think she'll know what to do."

He leaves.



* * *


Connor walks into the room.  I'm huddled at a corner, thinking deeply.  Connor walks over to me and sits down, "She's here."

Elain is beautiful.  She has average length brown hair, and deep blue eyes.  Her face is perfectly shaped.  She walks over and sits in front of me and Connor, "Hi Seth, I'm Elain.  You don't know me, so its nice to meet you."

I stare at her.  She glances at Connor then back to me, "Connor's told me all about whats been going on.  I have a plan, and I think it will work.  It will be risky though, are you up to it?"

Her eyes are very interesting to me now.  I look over to Connor and back and say feebishly, "Nothings worse then death, right?"

Connor and Elain awkwardly stare at each other, but the silence is soon broken by Elain when she looks at me and says, "Well, I guess, unless Enra finds out."

I stare, "Whats the plan?"

"We're going to fake your re-birth."

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

Ok, I hope more people start reading my work... Heres chapter 7   I might be adding more details to chapter 5 and 6 so I'll tell you guys if I do, to make them a little more interesting and longer.


Chapter 7

QUESTIONS

I'm back in my room.  Connor and Elain are in his room talking more on details about tommorow, but I decided to turn in for the night.  Life is so confusing.  Even if I do survive, whats going to happen to me. 

Could death actually be the answer?  I do want to live, but I don't think Connor or Elain will always be here for me. 

Enra is evil, I've always thought he wasn't right but now I'm sure of it.  There is always a reason for something, but murder is always the wrong choice.  I wonder what he has against me, I haven't done anything to harm him, or have I?

He seemed so calm when we talked.  It was like I was a child and he was my father and he was explaining some of life's question.  He didn't seem happy though, very serious.

My thoughts wander.  I wonder what re-birth is like.  How will they take my soul out of my body to put it in another.  This whole buisness of puting souls into different worlds seems odd to me.  If you take the brain out of the soul wouldn't the soul be un-smart, making its skills useless in another world?  I don't understand what they are trying to do if they need my brains in another world if they are just going to destroy my body and put my soul in another.

My mind is racing now.  My heart-beat is going very fast.  I feel like I'm watching a scary movie, at the scariest part, only it won't pass.  The ending won't come.  I'm in a rollercoaster of fear, only the drop is endless.

I think back to my past.  My mother was the only nice one in the family.  I always fought with my father.  I think he was jelous of my brains.  He worked in construction mostly because he failed when he was in High School and couldn't get a good enough education to go to collage.  I always felt he wanted a thinking job, but he wasn't smart enough and when I came along, always aceing the class, he became angry.

It was usually insults when I was smaller, but when I got into high school it was fights.  I usually ended up the hurt one.  One time, I even got a concussion, and my mother had to bring me to the hospital.  She told them I smacked my head on a table, because she was scared for her own safety.

We left him halfway through the school year.  My mom has a job at a supermarket and we are barely getting off.  The money from my father helps a bit, but it doesn't do much.  I was about to get a job before I disapeared.

I fear for my mother, I hope she's alright right now. 

I'm sitting at a corner.  I'm not sure what to think, so I just sit there.  I hope I'll be all right.

I think of death.  I don't want it but I know it will come soon anyways.  I don't think its the pain that confuses the mind, but what might happen after death.  All the religeons of the world confuse me now that I've been here.  I'm not sure if they could be real, though I'm just a small person who barely even makes up for anything in this universe.

I wonder where this dome could actually be.  Enra called it the Underdome 3073, so could there be more of them?  I think I'll ask Connor about it before... before I have to... fake my own death.

I wander over to my bed and sit down.  Those souls.  I wonder if they actually have thoughts.  I don't think they would have memories because like Connor said they know nothing.  Are they just like sheep, where the humanies are like shepards?  The souls look so dead, yet they haven't even been alive.  I can't really look at them straight, it makes me shiver.  They are so... different.

And the humanies, it's like they are just humans to me.  They seem so much the same yet they are so much more full of knowledge.  Their minds are so much more developed.  I wonder where they came from, if the humans come from here.  Its like, they have all the power over us, and yet they just mind their own buisness and only let souls into us when we are born. 

I guess if Enra turned on us, our whole civilization could be destroyed.  Is he really just trying to help the worlds, or is he actually planning something more, then just killing me...

My eyes are slowly falling.  My head falls back and I fall into a drifting sleep.



I spent a lot of time thinking about this chapter.  These thoughts have a lot to do with later in the story.  Enjoy and please leave a message telling me what you think

[Comix]

Comix

Re: |< Before >|

I won't be posting any more chapters here because its been about 4 chapters without anybody even looking at the thread.

[Hikij]

Hikij

Re: |< Before >|

Where will you be posting them? I like this story, but I just saw it today. It's very interesting, and I like it.