"Surprised you're here? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I would be less surprised then I am now." That would be the best Christmas Vacation movie.
By the way, Christmas Vacation is my favorite movie of all time. It has such an awesome mix of funniness and meaning.
Some of my favorite quotes are:
Grandpa: SQUIIIRRRELLL!!!
Policeman:Thats pretty low mister. If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you...
Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No !@#$%.
Aunt Bethany: What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound.
Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey !@#$% he is. Hallelujah. Holy !@#$%. Where's the Tylenol?
THAT is why it is the funniest movie EVER.