| (http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/745/cedristu9.png) (http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/4449/cedrprofsprnz9.gif) | CEDRIS HAMMERFECKEN III Cedris was born and raised in Windsor, England in the 6th century. As a young boy, he was trained as a squire and later as a knight for King Arthur of Camelot. Despite his skill and eagerness to serve, he quickly fell behind as a knight due to a condition now known as Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, known colloquially in those times as Not Enough Whippings, OMG The Devil, or more commonly He's A Lazy Sod. Cedris, frustrated and angry with the world for rejecting him time and time again based purely on what he was sure was not his fault, began to shun the outside world and secretly cut himself. (But don't worry - in Mediaeval England, cutting was a common cure for pretty much everything) But in his isolated room, he dreamed of all the things he could do if only he were given the chance. So one day, he left his lodgings permanently and began to travel all over the country, gathering people like him, forming a group that grew daily. Cedris, like many people now who shamelessly rip off his idea, decided that the best way for this group to reach people was through rock music, and the group became The Läzy Sods, a 32-piece Experimental Gaelic Folk Metal group, touring the land trying to bring hope to young children. But their plan backfired, and soon kids all over the country were rebelling and engaging in such heinous activities as staying out after 8, thinking for themselves, wearing boxer shorts and putting flowers in their hair. The adults decided to fight back and the political pressure placed on The Läzy Sods was incredible. Soon Elfgaer, Adolf, Beaduheard, Molgschwor, Bokklefrid, Suttbecks, Muldkip, Chieldisch Werrs, Likorbottel, YeOldeMethuselah, Swiftu and 16 other members had quit, leaving only 5 core members, including Cedris, to keep the struggling band alive. They planned to play one last gig from the top of a tower before dissolving the group, but on the night of the concert Cedris was found dead in his living room. A photo was quickly snapped by a band member and is currently being used to promote a bootleg album of the intended material for their concert. Now Cedris lives on as a revolutionary who changed the world with his music. Although few are aware of his existence, everybody experiences it when they turn on the radio. So next time you hear "Girlfriend" playing on someone's car stereo, blame Cedris. But don't forget, he's also responsible for all the other rock music you listen to and enjoy. And all thanks to OMG The Devil. |
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