How about good ol...
Were going to blow up the world now, with my ub3r deathray!
Omg guys, look, its preparing to fire!
5 Minutes Left..
**Wastes 30 minutes on a mission**
Omg, you have discovered my secret base!
but your too late now! Theres only 30 seconds left
**Beats machine, but takes himself 20 minutes**
Oh damn, my counter must have broke