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Author Topic: [Revise] Jack and his crew  (Read 6732 times)

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Re: [Submission] NOT Tetra and HER crew
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2012, 12:39:28 am »
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That would kind of make Nigel useless then, if you think about it.

Because you encounter nigel all over hyrule.

I'm not sure if encountering two different peoples in the same area would be good.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2012, 12:42:34 am by Shadow直腸の神 »
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Re: [Submission] NOT Tetra and HER crew
« Reply #21 on: September 16, 2012, 12:50:28 am »
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That would kind of make Nigel useless then, if you think about it.

Because you encounter nigel all over hyrule.

I'm not sure if encountering two different peoples in the same area would be good.

I think he means something like, each of them are scattered through the world, and you find them, some dialogue, and that.
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Re: [Submission] NOT Tetra and HER crew
« Reply #22 on: September 16, 2012, 12:53:02 am »
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Welp, I'm definitly tired, sorry 'bout that, I guess I misunderstood it.
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Re: [Submission] NOT Tetra and HER crew
« Reply #23 on: September 16, 2012, 10:38:15 am »
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I have to agree with MG on this. Pirates fit and don't fit. I am a bit conflict about. However it is better to scrap the Tetra thing and any references. I do not think it will fit very well.
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Re: [Submission] NOT Tetra and HER crew
« Reply #24 on: September 16, 2012, 02:54:20 pm »
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I agree, the Tetra references should be dropped completely.
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Re: [Submission] NOT Tetra and HER crew
« Reply #25 on: September 16, 2012, 08:00:32 pm »
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I was gonna say, what about the pirate from OOX? The Skull Pirate and his crew? They were awesome, I really liked them. We could have him in as a little side quest where his ship has run aground somewhere and you need to find his crew so they can set sail. His crew could be scattered in the local area, or all over the world.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #26 on: September 17, 2012, 12:14:35 pm »
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Updated and changed the topic's name
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #27 on: September 17, 2012, 10:20:31 pm »
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Updated the topic (again) (sorry for the double-post)
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #28 on: September 18, 2012, 04:28:04 am »
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I know they are linked together, but perhaps it is best to move the sidequest part to the Sidquests board. It will allow you to develop it a lot better. Here it kinda mixes with developing the character.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #29 on: September 18, 2012, 11:38:38 am »
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Well, then I'm erasing the sidequest part, and wait until is approved/revise/rejected.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #30 on: September 19, 2012, 10:39:41 pm »
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It'd be nice some feedback. Is this a so horrible entry?
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #31 on: September 24, 2012, 10:36:46 pm »
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Update: Added two more pirates (Guillermo and Catherine).
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thestig

Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #32 on: September 27, 2012, 01:25:02 am »
Well.. I think what kills this submission is the pirate aspect about it. The world's kind of supposed to be based around Hyrule. But I think the modified approach with Jack being a clever thief is a good approach. Honestly, he should just be a thief all together from the Gerudo Desert, or something.

Gulliermo could probably have something to do with Lake Hylia rather than a random island in the world.. not so sure about Catherine living on the rich side of Hyrule Town as that contradicts A LOT of the story. If she wasn't a Gerudo it would make sense. Jack should be a Gerudo and Catherine should be a Hylian. I know what you're trying to go for here and I think that would solve that issue there.

Not too sure how I feel about Gulliermo. I'll just leave it to another person to give their thoughts on that, I suppose.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #33 on: September 27, 2012, 01:27:21 am »
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Well.. I think what kills this submission is the pirate aspect about it. The world's kind of supposed to be based around Hyrule. But I think the modified approach with Jack being a clever thief is a good approach. Honestly, he should just be a thief all together from the Gerudo Desert, or something.

Gulliermo could probably have something to do with Lake Hylia rather than a random island in the world.. not so sure about Catherine living on the rich side of Hyrule Town as that contradicts A LOT of the story. If she wasn't a Gerudo it would make sense. Jack should be a Gerudo and Catherine should be a Hylian. I know what you're trying to go for here and I think that would solve that issue there.

Not too sure how I feel about Gulliermo. I'll just leave it to another person to give their thoughts on that, I suppose.

Or he can be like a wannabe theif that has a few of his men in cavarans or something, Link can meet with him when Jack and his crew caravan breaks down after trying to get away from someone.  :-\
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thestig

Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #34 on: September 27, 2012, 01:29:25 am »
Well.. I think what kills this submission is the pirate aspect about it. The world's kind of supposed to be based around Hyrule. But I think the modified approach with Jack being a clever thief is a good approach. Honestly, he should just be a thief all together from the Gerudo Desert, or something.

Gulliermo could probably have something to do with Lake Hylia rather than a random island in the world.. not so sure about Catherine living on the rich side of Hyrule Town as that contradicts A LOT of the story. If she wasn't a Gerudo it would make sense. Jack should be a Gerudo and Catherine should be a Hylian. I know what you're trying to go for here and I think that would solve that issue there.

Not too sure how I feel about Gulliermo. I'll just leave it to another person to give their thoughts on that, I suppose.


Or he can be like a wannabe theif that has a few of his men in cavarans or something, Link can meet with him when Jack and his crew caravan breaks down after trying to get away from someone.  :-\
Good idea. ;p The whole gist here is that, there's a bagillion ways someone could go about writing this character. It has to be anything but a pirate though.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #35 on: September 27, 2012, 01:29:53 am »
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Well, the other day thought something about making her Hylian, and Jack a shiekah. He got away from town in his days of youth. And maybe, yes, making them a thief gang!

Guillermo. Pure Guillermo. It though of a character that was, like, away from Hyrule, and his accent was like me in my first days trying to talk english  XD.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #36 on: September 28, 2012, 06:38:24 am »
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Okay, I shall put my 2 cents in then. I was actually hoping to see the sidequest idea first. Because like GM said the pirate aspect is sort of iffy. However, it does not kill the submission. It could work, if you can give a very good reason why all of them are so far out of their comfort zone. And looking for treasure is not a good reason.

Of the three pirates you presented I like Guillermo the best. A sea based zora is an awesome idea. You can have some personality traits about the freshwater, that it feels funny. With his back story I would have to say "less is more" and "keep it simple". For example how he joined Jack's crew it would sufficto say that "Jack was impressed by his skills with sword when they ended up in fight." Because why would Guillermo order Jack to stop digging.

Jack is decent in setup. Simple and to the point. However he lacks a good reason why he is outside his comfort zone. But the pirate aspect makes it a character that very much depends on the sidequest involved. I urge you to put up an idea for the sidequest in the sidequest board. On the case of race I disagree with GM. Making him a Gerudo would not go well, unless you want to change his gender. It clashes withhe Gerudo mythos. The Gerudo are a race of women, where a man is born only once every 100 years. Farin is the current one and Ganondorf is the Gerudo of a 100 years ago. So those spots are pretty much taken.

With Catherine I am the least comfortable. I applaud you for making a character that is not Hylian. And we could use some Gerudo. However the Gerudo have been exiled to the desert and not seen anymore by Hylians. However the Seikah are actively keeping them out of Hyrule. If we have to many Gerudo running around Castle Town it would destroy that illusion. SO my advice is either to change the race or change the location of this character.
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She fell in love with Jack when he recruited her from some desert monsters, in the Gerudo Desert. She asked Jack if she could join him on the treasure hunt. He didn't care, as long as she did something and didn't budder him.
This part is also a bit iffy.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #37 on: September 29, 2012, 02:02:28 am »
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I wouldn't like to make things too hard, so I'm explaining some things, changing others, and using your feedback for this.

Jack: a sheikah that was raised outside of Hyrule. He often goes to the town to steal food and money. He's a wanted criminal. He's somewhat stubborn, and he will never let himself lose, even when he's defeated, what sometimes help him on fighting.

Guillermo: Guillermo is a close friend to Jack since they met and had a sword fight for reasons not-well explained (it's always confusing the story of how they met). He tries to make Jack see that he's wrong, what leads them to a constant fight.

Catherine: a gerudo born in the gerudo desert, but didn't like how the Gerudo had to live, and they were kicked out of Hyrules, so she decided to change things. She wants peace between the two races. She joined Jack's gang for unknown reasons.
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Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #38 on: October 20, 2012, 10:11:59 pm »
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Though it's yet unfinished, does anyone have any comments on this?
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thestig

Re: [Submission] Jack and his crew
« Reply #39 on: October 20, 2012, 10:17:52 pm »
Proceed as you were, this is a much better approach.

I want to see you develop this idea further as what you have right now seems like a good start. Jack as the troubled, but good-hearted guy... Guilermo as the guy who see's the good in people, but restrains Jack and takes abuse as a result. And Catherine, the outcast who has no place.

Now, you need to figure out a purpose for them. I honestly envision this group as another gang in Hyrule Town, but who knows.. Figure out a place, or places for them to be found at as the next option. Perhaps you can have Link assist Jack in some "jobs"? Hmm?
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