This is going to be somewhat of a long read, so you might want to get a sandwich and a soda.
Sometime in September, my sister came home from college to visit. She didn't come alone, however: she brought her 26-year-old high school drop out skag of a boyfriend with her. At the time, I didn't think this was a bad thing. You know, !@#$%, I like to meet new people. So we all head over to my parent's house for a large meal (that was a good meal, by the way). Now, it was kind of chilly on this particular night, so I brought my trench coat with me. (Yeah, my jacket is a trench coat.) It's a very long coat, long enough to where there is about three inches of slack on the ground when I wear it. Not a lot, mind you, but enough to, say, use your foot to stop anyone who was wearing it in their tracks by stepping on it. As expected, this dumbass did that. A lot. After the 7th or 8th time, I get pissed off spin around wildly and yell "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?" He looks at me for a second, then says "Get me another beer." I rip my coat from under his foot and trudge into the kitchen where my mom was. "Do you have a heavy, blunt object, preferably made of a hard metal?" I asked her. We then have a conversation about how much we hate this guy and how much we want to throw him into a hole filled with ska fans. Finally, the night ended and I went home.
Now, we find ourselves in mid-October. The big sister is coming back for the weekend and she's bringing Mr. Ska Fan Bait as well. "Oh joy," I thought to myself. So, my sister and Ska (I'm going to refer to him as Ska from now on) arrive, along with someone else: Ska's 7 year old son, Andrew. Now, I like Andrew, he's a cute little kid, and I kind of grew to be somewhat defensive over him...this has relevance, trust me. So anyway, they were supposed to stay at my parents' house, but due to some remodeling, they had to stay elsewhere. I figured they could've stayed at a hotel, but Ska can't afford it, so guess what? They come to my house. I don't remember my reaction, but my thoughts were something along the lines of "JESUS MOTHER !@#$% SON OF A !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% DAMN HATE SKA KILL DAMN !@#$% !@#$% ASS !@#$%." In my rage, I floor it all the way back to my place, making it back in about 90 minutes opposed to the typical two hours. This enraged Ska, who used many colorful words and physical aggression when unloading his Nascar-themed bags. Oh !@#$%, Nascar. SOURCE HATE.
So, we get inside and he chucks his !@#$% on my couch, obviously expecting me or Steph (my sister) to pick it up. I'm pretty sure these bags are heavy as !@#$% knows what, so I spare my sister the trouble and put them in the corner. You know,
away from my stuff. This also enrages him, but luckily, he at least had the mental capabilities to not say anything. The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful, save for random displays of idiocy on Ska's part.
The next day, I wake up to find something horrible: Ska is playing my 360. Hell no. Luckily, the dream I had the night before was a good one, so I was in a good mood, meaning I didn't say things I would've under any other circumstances. So, I ask "What are you doing?" He says "I'm playing Halo," to which I respond "You could've asked first. I'm not too fond of people playing my games without asking." Then, he says "I'm older, I can do whatever the hell I want." Oh !@#$%, blood pressure rising, move all potentially deadly objects. "Get a grip, Brian," I told myself. Still pissed off, I storm into the kitchen where Steph is. We exchange hellos, and I proceed to tell her that her boyfriend sucks. She gets kind of offended and asks why. I tell her all of my reasons, ranging for his complete disregard for property to his all-around idiocy. Suddenly, we hear Ska yelling, and then Andrew crying. I barge in and ask what the !@#$% the problem was.
Ska's response? "That little !@#$% walked in front of the T.V. and I died." I was stunned a little after hearing his idiocy, but I regained my composure. I responded, saying "Dude, it's a !@#$% game. Stop !@#$% yelling, we can get in trouble for it." He threw my controller down and walked outside to smoke. Andrew was still crying, so I took him off to McDonald's and he was alright. The next day, they left at 6 or so in the morning.
Now, they're coming back next weekend. I can imagine how much fun that is going to be.
Since you read all of that, I award you this YouTube video.
