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Author Topic: Women are to blame if man cheats  (Read 5091 times)

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Women are to blame if man cheats
« on: September 01, 2008, 10:08:59 am »
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So basically this man is saying that women should fulfill all their man's needs and then he wont cheat on them. If he does cheat then it's all their own fault for not doing all the things she should.

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recommends women take a subservient role in marriage
What happened to equality? :S

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Mr Neuman's advice includes always forgiving him1, providing sex on demand2 and taking an interest in his hobbies3
1The whole forgiving thing, shouldnt that work both ways?
2Now that's just silly. It's like saying to women, oh, if you act more like a hooker than your man's partner then he wont cheat on you. If one day someone doesnt feel like having sex, they shouldnt have to just because their partner wants it.
3Like I said for the first point, shouldnt this work both ways?

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a woman should praise her man for providing for the family, even if she earns more than him
I think that the man should do the same too

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Men will eventually find their way into the arms of another if they are not getting enough sex at home
I would say this is the same for women though. Sure, it is sometimes found that women lose interest in sex more than men do but if a woman isnt getting the sex she wants then it's going to be the same problem. Although most adults should know that a suitable solution for stuff like this is talking things through. Yeah, whatever happened to a bit of communication? This Mr Neuman guy is saying that women should do all this stuff to keep their partner happy, but shouldnt both partners be fulfilling each other's needs? So when the woman is doing all this stuff for her partner and trying hard to make sure he wont cheat, what's the man doing to make sure his woman is happy? It sounds to me, like if you follow Mr Neuman's so-called "useful advice" you're just doomed for depression, unhappiness and unfulfilment (well, not for the man anyway.)

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women should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning
Yeah, and the men should go to work in their boxers.

Discuss?
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2008, 10:13:47 am »
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If a person cheats, it's often both of their faults. It's commonly the result of an argument or disagreement, or period of absence (or lack of sex) in which one of them seeks some kind of comfort in another person.

Personally, I disagree with this man, and want to smack him back into the stone age where he belongs.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2008, 10:14:55 am »
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I think a cheater is someone who is lower than dirty, and has absolutely no moral fiber or sense of responsibility.

imo D:
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2008, 10:23:25 am »
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Just to give an example here: I have a friend whose boyfriend is... a great guy, but she is insecure and needs someone to tell her that he loves her and she's special and all those things, whilst he doesn't tend to do that very often. They seem great together at first, but they are times when their relationship is like watching a slow train-wreck happening in slow motion of slowness.

Now, at a party whilst I was upstairs in her bedroom with all the females there (I get along with women better than I do guys), she basically lay down and asked me to stroke her hair, because her boyfriend never does it.

I did end up stroking her hair (I can't exactly say "No, I'm not going to stroke your hair, because I'm a !@#$%", can I?), and it made me think about people who cheat, and I realised one of the reasons they do it is because they need something that, for whatever reason (be it them having a very closed off personality, or something else) their lover can't provide it. I bolded the word need because it is beyond a want, it is something that without they suffer greatly, without it living is...torturous. Ultimately, the need will need fulfilling, it is human nature.

This kind of cheating is the sign of a failure on part of not one, but both members of the relationship.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2008, 10:56:27 am »
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Amen.
Usually it just means that the relationship is just not working, and they're too scared to say it to the other member of the relationship.
But yeah, the author of that book seems a little old fashioned. You can't read that text without even smiling a little, because its just so silly.
"Fulfill my needs woman, or I'll cheat on you!"

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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2008, 11:00:09 am »
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I believe that in all situations, cheating is wrong.

If you are so cold-hearted to even consider cheating on your partner, then it shouldnt be a problem for you to break up with them before you do something like that, so that at least they arent under a false pretence that things in the relationship are fine and dandy.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2008, 12:59:36 pm »
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Of course it is wrong. Always.

But I wouldn't call it cold-hearted in all possible situations, of course there are some bastards (men aswell as women) who don't give a !@#$%, but sometimes it's really just not that easy.

Basically... I agree with everything TheDarkJay has said.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2008, 02:16:36 pm »
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women should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning

fapfapfaq
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2008, 02:39:03 pm »
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Quote
recommends women take a subservient role in marriage
What happened to equality? :S

You don't understand, do you? This is this man's opinion, and how he feels about how a marriage should be. What happened to equality? That's exactly the point he's making. With equality, he feels there is a higher chance of cheating. However, with the whole "Sex on demand" thing I can see how you feel he's saying women should act like hookers, but he really isn't. Hookers are disgusting, and there's a reason men don't want to spend their lives with a !@#$%, which is most likely what I just said at the start of this sentence. Really, the things he said women should do for their men are exactly what most men want. Sex without a fuss, (sure you can say no, but if you're constantly saying no he's obviously gonna get pissed off, and it really doesn't have to be as subservient as it sounds), praise for providing for the family (remember Kaede, men have HUGE egos, and if they don't feel like they're doing a good job providing, they'll of course feel like they're inadequate as a man),  and when he said wear sexy underwear while cooking and cleaning in the privacy of your home, how does that equate to going around the streets in nothing but boxers?

It pisses me off how the media always jumps of men for the sake of women's rights. What about men's rights? "THIS IS BOOK IS A JOKE IT IS FOR IF YOU SEE SACRIFICING A HUMAN TO SUSTAIN IT" my god, a bit of subservience for the man who loves you isn't gonna detract you of your status as a human being. "THIS IS AN APPALING BOOK IT'S DOG TRAINING" Why such strong words? It's hardly dog training at all. And why such outrage about the book anyway? I see tons of stuff about how men are inferior to women and should be treated as such, in some cases actually like dog training, go completely unnoticed by the media. On chat shows if a man has cheated, he won't even be allowed to explain himself. YOU KNOW WHAT MISTER YOU DISGUST ME GET OFF MY SHOW and the audience will repeatedly boo and jeer him, even though he could well be innocent. If a woman has cheated, she more likely receives complete silence from the audience and the host's total sympathy as she cries her eyes out because she knows she should be in deep !@#$%. It's always the man's fault, and now we have one man who's done substantial research on the subject and simply giving his opinions and philosophy on the matter, the media instantly claws and scrapes at it.

Society needs to grow some !@#$% balls and accept it's not always the man's fault, and that if women really are equal to men, they shouldn't be allowed to give some simple opinions on the opposite sex, or what they feel is advice (not commands, advice is not intended to be a universal thing either. You're supposed to read this and take from it what you feel might work for you), nevermind partake in radical feminism. "Freedom of speech", you retort. Well where is a man's freedom of speech then? "Err, umm, uhh, HE SHOULDN'T SAY NASTY THINGS LIKE THAT THOUGH BAWWW"

All I can say is people really need to learn how to think critically, and that if women actually do have rights, they shouldn't be held on such a god damn pedestal all the time with the media using those rights for them. If they really do have all these rights and are men's exact equals (and they clearly aren't exact equals) they should come out of their protective cocoons and face reality.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2008, 02:42:20 pm »
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*sigh* Another sexism topic...

Edit: Seeing as how this isn't a "community" issue or a "personal" issue, I'm going to move it to Off-Topic. If debates come about, I'll move it to debates.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2008, 04:49:39 pm by Zidane »
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!@#$% I lost my entire post, god dammit.
Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2008, 04:54:29 pm »
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women should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning

fapfapfaq
fapfapFrequentlyAskedQuestions? Sounds interesting.


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recommends women take a subservient role in marriage
What happened to equality? :S
BIG OL' WALL OF TEXT AND STUFFZ.
I agree with this. I think that maybe this book should portray it from the both sides though. Men want 'no fuss' sex whenever? Then be more gentle and intimate with your wife. Men want to be appreciated for work? Then congratulate your wife on everything she does. It's not that hard to figure out that if you want to be respected, you have to give respect as well.

I do think this man has a point that most men cheat who get inadequate affection in the bedroom. I'm not saying it's good for men to seek another lover, but if a man needs that kind of attention, shouldn't he ask and be able to discuss it with his partner? I think that sex is a pretty fundamental part of some marriages and shouldn't be ignored.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2008, 06:11:33 pm »
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I agree with this. I think that maybe this book should portray it from the both sides though. Men want 'no fuss' sex whenever? Then be more gentle and intimate with your wife. Men want to be appreciated for work? Then congratulate your wife on everything she does. It's not that hard to figure out that if you want to be respected, you have to give respect as well.

I do think this man has a point that most men cheat who get inadequate affection in the bedroom. I'm not saying it's good for men to seek another lover, but if a man needs that kind of attention, shouldn't he ask and be able to discuss it with his partner? I think that sex is a pretty fundamental part of some marriages and shouldn't be ignored.

This is what I'm trying to point out.
And about the sex, I read somewhere which said that in a relationship there's only an issue with sex is if there isnt any. Which is mainly true, but there's also an issue if one partner thinks they have to be up for it every time even when they dont feel like it.

You don't understand, do you?
Yes, I do.

This is this man's opinion
Yep, and I gave my opinion on his opinion.

Hookers are disgusting
That's being stereotypical.

Really, the things he said women should do for their men are exactly what most men want
But it all sounds to me like it's "do what I want or I sleep with another woman", which is hardly fair, is it?

Sex without a fuss, (sure you can say no, but if you're constantly saying no he's obviously gonna get pissed off, and it really doesn't have to be as subservient as it sounds)
Well obviously if you're always saying no then there's a problem, isnt there. A problem which isnt solved very well by cheating.

when he said wear sexy underwear while cooking and cleaning in the privacy of your home, how does that equate to going around the streets in nothing but boxers?
Do you know how difficult and uncomfortable it would be to cook and clean in stillettos and a thong?!

why such outrage about the book anyway?
What outrage? The article didnt seem too negative about it tight butthole. And I'm not outraged by it either, I just think the book has some faults and gives out a negative concept.

On chat shows if a man has cheated, he won't even be allowed to explain himself. YOU KNOW WHAT MISTER YOU DISGUST ME GET OFF MY SHOW and the audience will repeatedly boo and jeer him, even though he could well be innocent. If a woman has cheated, she more likely receives complete silence from the audience and the host's total sympathy as she cries her eyes out because she knows she should be in deep !@#$%. It's always the man's fault
You make a lot of generalisations here.

Society needs to grow some !@#$% balls and accept it's not always the man's fault, and that if women really are equal to men, they shouldn't be allowed to give some simple opinions on the opposite sex, or what they feel is advice (not commands, advice is not intended to be a universal thing either. You're supposed to read this and take from it what you feel might work for you), nevermind partake in radical feminism. "Freedom of speech", you retort. Well where is a man's freedom of speech then? "Err, umm, uhh, HE SHOULDN'T SAY NASTY THINGS LIKE THAT THOUGH BAWWW"
Whoever said it was always the man's fault?
To my knowledge it's always the women who get blamed for everything (HINT: the title of the article).
& women arent allowed to give "simple" opinions on the opposite sex? Oh, but men are? How does that work?

Whoops I think I pressed your angry button Kyubi.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2008, 06:15:32 pm »
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Sometimes men cheat. Sometimes women cheat. Who is to blame? That depends. But it's not true to say that it is always the fault of the woman. I wouldn't take the article too seriously. You know how the media is.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #13 on: September 01, 2008, 06:26:27 pm »
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Sometimes men cheat. Sometimes women cheat. Who is to blame? That depends. But it's not true to say that it is always the fault of the woman. I wouldn't take the article too seriously. You know how the media is.

Agreed.

I didnt mean to stir up such a fuss with Kyubi about it, but I just thought it was a bit absurd.
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #14 on: September 01, 2008, 07:50:56 pm »
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That would make absolute perfect sense is desires were indeed needs. I really hate it when people refer to sexual urges as their "needs". You can't use an urge or desire as justification for something as !@#$% up as cheating.
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And now after years of mocking him the pretending he played a massive part in our lives when really we couldn't care less just to ease our consciounse over said mocking healing can begin <_<

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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #15 on: September 01, 2008, 07:54:46 pm »
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I'm not just referring to sexual desires, but emotional ones too. Truly great sex often comes through and following great emotions. Some men or women 'cheat' without ever seeing another man or women except for their partner naked.

Besides, sex is a natural prerogative. At the end of the day, humans are still slaves to their instinct. When a human seemingly goes against an instinct, that is naught more than another instinct taking charge.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2008, 07:58:07 pm by TheDarkJay »
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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #16 on: September 01, 2008, 08:06:16 pm »
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As influential as instinct is on us humans, it's be stupid to say that we can't override instinctive forces.
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And now after years of mocking him the pretending he played a massive part in our lives when really we couldn't care less just to ease our consciounse over said mocking healing can begin <_<

It's Steve Irwin all over again.

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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #17 on: September 02, 2008, 09:19:06 pm »
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Cheating is what people of both sexes do when they feel that they're getting nothing out of their current relationship. It has a lot to do with keeping your partner happy.

/thread
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(!@#$%)

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lost children with no heart are crying (Turning their hearts into stone)
and you're the lost mother they're calling
Go now, run and hide (seek more than vengeance)
I hear them crying at night (your pain is their satisfaction)
outside when the planets are falling (for the rest of time)
They want to feel and know you hear them (Go now, run and hide)

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Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #18 on: September 03, 2008, 01:30:22 am »
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Cheating is what people of both sexes do when they feel that they're getting nothing out of their current relationship. It has a lot to do with keeping your partner happy.

/thread

No, when you're getting nothing out of your current relationship, you dump them. Plain and simple. You cheat when you're a perverted !@#$% animal.
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And now after years of mocking him the pretending he played a massive part in our lives when really we couldn't care less just to ease our consciounse over said mocking healing can begin <_<

It's Steve Irwin all over again.

Source

Internet Tough Guy.
Re: Women are to blame if man cheats
« Reply #19 on: September 03, 2008, 01:45:50 am »
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In a perfect world, maybe. Admittedly, some people cheat because they are perverted !@#$% animals, but not all of them. It depends on the person.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone thought to themselves "You know, I really want to set those people over there on fire." - George Carlin

(!@#$%)

Hear the haunting words (They'll find you alone)
lost children with no heart are crying (Turning their hearts into stone)
and you're the lost mother they're calling
Go now, run and hide (seek more than vengeance)
I hear them crying at night (your pain is their satisfaction)
outside when the planets are falling (for the rest of time)
They want to feel and know you hear them (Go now, run and hide)

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