Yeah, I know...
UPDATE: Apparently, all I did was take the bottom off, lose part of the L Button, and put it back on. It's exactly as it was before. It just hates being played while plugged in, and I have to hold the power button on, but still... At least it's semi-playable, right?
Also, Antidote, any reason why Tony the Tiger's on the package the screwdriver came in?